Years ago - pre-1996 - I had a horrible 'phobia' condition...I couldn't go out to peoples places, cinema, to eat - anywhere without wanting to throw up. Panic attacks were regular - I even had a dizzy spell - which is one 'indication' things are getting out of hand - at a supermarket. If I can't leave - get out - stop - wherever or whatever - it leads to a full scale panic attack.

Aftr my aneurysm - the only thing left over of this phobia was the inability to sleep at other peoples houses without medicating.

It's starting again. The past two days in particular - I've had to drive to different places to get jobs done - yesterday - I had to go somewhere to take some hired DVD's back - so went to the supermarket near there instead of my usual one. I had to have a drink of apple juice to ensure I didn't faint. I 'edited' my shirt because I was overly warm - I cut out a tank top inner from it - tied the shoulder straps in knots - and dealt with the warmth - a mere 23 degrees C - that way. Today - I had to go into town to pick up my stepdaughter and take her up to her school - her first day of year 11 - she'd missed the direct bus and was intears because the next one wouldn't have gotten her there for nearly an hour. I was fine getting to where I had to pick her up from - but as soon as i got onto the Highway - a freeway basically - I started to lose it. I had to explain to her that I have set routes that I use to go anywhere - that it had been nearly 9 years since I'd done this particular one... I was so addled I took the wrong road after I dropped her off and ended up back in the city - where I either had to go back up the highway to go do the supermarket stuff for the babies - or my usual route. Then the car started to smell like burnt rubber or plastic - the brakes make the whole care shake at higher than 60kph when applied - and then an odd noise when parking. I was a knife's edge aaway from a panic attack by the time I got to the pharmacy and bought some Brauers Nervatona spray. I may drive more carefully when this happens - but I get tunnel vision and seriously feel like I"m about to faint.

I cannot go through this again! It's highly debilitating for me and I have kids now and a husband who need to know that I'm safe to leave to go somewhere - or I'm safe to let go somewhere. I hope honestly it's spiritual attack....I truly do - that I'm doing too good a job as a Christian.....I CANNOT DO THIS AGAIN.

Please pray that it get s under control. I'm going to talk to my counsellor friend tonight if I get the chance about it - get some suggestions from her.

Please please please pray for me I am serious - I cannot do this! And ifghting it leaves me so tir4ed and with a headache.

Oh absolutely... I shall pray for you ... often - every day, starting now!

love you
Dani

MadMikie, I will pray for you. I too get panic attacks.
I used to get them quite often and I felt like impending doom was upon me.
I now pray my way through. I call upon Jesus and the panic is gone.
He takes my attacks from me.

Now if you want to avoid some more panic attacks, don't read some of the posts on the forum.
Just joking. But honestly I just read one thread that made me get dizzy and reach for the
get me out of here quick panic button. But then I found the bickering back and forth like a
christian comedy hour of sorts. I could try and sort it here and there, but I just laughed and thought
I needed a good. Laughter is good medicine.

Now I pray that the others on that thread find some humour and lighten up and just
love one another.

In our house we have a saying. Okay it is litte old rosie's saying.
I tease anyone that is crabby that their underwear must be too tight.
Loosen up the undergochies and all will be well.

Okay that was silly. But did you laugh or just roll your eyes like my children do sometimes.
Just love me okay. Faults and all.

I am still in recovery. I guess I always will be.


love,
rosie
I pray peace from our Lord Jesus to you Mikie.
Cling to Him always.

I too will pray for you and I want to let you know that it is an attack of the devil, he hits you at your weakest point. I too am going through the fire when you are at your lowest point stop the head chatter and just consentrate on Jesus he will help you. He is so awesome!! Remember we are living in the end of days!! Also try drinking some valerian root tea before you go to bed and invest in some good vitamins high in Bs a good one is "great earth vitamins" they are low cost but good and you can get them on line.

I smiled Rosie - I'm still to wired to have my rest - and it's been several hours now - and I am really tired.

I used to recite -The Litany Against Fear - from the Dune books. That got me through minor heebeejeebies. The next time I needed to do that was in the dentist chair about 4 years ago - I got as far as "I must not fear.....then it swapped to...The Lord is With me - over and over and over. So now that's how I kind of try to work around it.....for the last week anyway. It's just steadily getting worse.......it's that recitation that's keeping me 'working'.


Thanks Leslie.....

I was going to add when I finished my response to Rosie - but thought better of it - ever since I started 'working' with Jhonathon - corresponding with him and talking 'spiritual stuff' and helping him to unravel what he is hearing....the closer I got to understanding ( bearing in mind I've been praying for clarity each time I've read his emails) what he was saying........the more 'attacked' I got. I went completely off the planet the other day - only hours after I worked out something fully. Totally 'emo' as the teenagers would say - over a perceived slight from my husband. So - this is why I really want it to just be spiritual attack - because if it's happening because I am a DANGER to simple satan and his cronies - the to me at the very least, I am doing something right.

Hello MadeMikkie

So sorry what you are going through......been there myself too. I still fight it now and then. I will keep you in my prayers too.

"Father God my sister needs a miracle right now......I've come to you before like this Father....and you were so faithful and provided me with the Miracle I need for myself at that time so pleass, I ask in Jesus name to heal Mikkie....she is at the end of her rope.....and needs this Father. Bind the forces that can bring on these kind of things....place angles around her to guard and protect her from the enemy, as you heal her. I thank you Father for answering my prayer even though it is unseen at this moment, and thank you for healing Mikkie. Thank you Father, Thank you. Amen and amen. God Bless Mikkie<>< marie

I'll pray for you!

You are not going to like what I have to say, but I'm going to say it anyway.

I know you have probably heard this from all your docs... but the WORST thing you could ever do is change your behavior to accomodate the fear you are experiencing. Once you change your behavior to avoid a panic attack, you REINFORCE that behavior when you don't experience that fear/panic. Put another way in another situation... suppose you want to train your child NOT to do something (like, throw a fit in the grocery store). You decide to introduce a new behavior to get him to behave: you reward him with a cookie each time he doesn't throw a tantrum in the store. Eventually, the child will behave well inside the store because you have reinforced his good behavior with a reward (the cookie). So... back to you. Let's say you decide to avoid the fear and stick close to home when you do your errands. After your errands you notice that you haven't panicked. You have gotten the desired result (peace). The avoidance has been REINFORCED. Why? The reward for your avoidance is- emotional peace and calm.

This is a debillitating trap a lot of folks with phobias get themselves into. They think that if they JUST don't do this (ex: they don't go to the further away grocery store but go to the closer one)... that will make them feel more relaxed and calm. At first this new behavior does result in peace and a relaxed state in the individual (again, reinforcing or rewarding the avoiding behavior). BUT THEN... a little later the panic comes again even after the first behavior modification. So now they have to restrict their behavior even more to maintain their calm. Eventually, they find themselves trapped by their fear because their behavior has been changed so much to avoid the panic. This slow progression is how some people get to the point where they won't even leave their own house. DON'T DO THIS!!! I'll say what I did in the beginning: the WORST thing you could ever do is change your behavior to accomodate the fear you are experiencing

INSTEAD... you should:

Go head first into the wind... into the storm. Take your bible with you. If you start to feel sick, dizzy, hot... STOP and read scripture. Say outloud (it is important to say outloud)... "God did not give me the spirit of fear, but of love, of power, and of a sound mind." Read other healing verses that speak specifically to YOU and the moment. There is POWER in the WORD!!! It will calm you... it will reassure you. Stand on God's promises. Rebuke the enemy if you feel led to. Take a friend with you to read to you and reassure you if you need it. But keep moving... don't sit down, don't hide from the fear. Say, "I WILL NOT BE MOVED!" RESIST the devil and he will flee from you.


Start now. You've only been under attack for two days, right? Don't let the devil get a foothold. You can do it. YOU CAN DO IT.

I love you! You can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens you.

They were saved by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony.

Here are a few testimonies of those who have struggled with this disorder. I am awed that you would be so transparent and humble to cry out for help when you need it. You are certainly a beautiful woman of God.

http://www.bsincere.btinternet.co.uk/panic5.html

http://www.wholeperson-counseling.org/test..._testimony.html

http://christianity.about.com/od/miraculou...ultestimony.htm

http://atime2heal.org/Elisabeth.html

Thank you everyone. I'm NOT (just to make sure y'all understand) changing my behaviour where possible I'm back to chewing gum and breathing...I concentrate on my breathing a lot. And where necessary - have a few squirts of anti-high stress spray. My 3 year old had his orientation ot pre-school today - that was interesting - and I only had a slight touch of the nerves which was good. I had a bit more sleep last night - not a lot - but I'm getting there. It's been quite warm here and I'm not the best in heat either...hits the 20 degrees C and I'm shedding clothes.....not something you can easily do in public either - which - if I get to warm will make all the symptoms worse.

But hey - I am working on it and I'm positive it's with the help of all the prayers - on top of my own little desperate ones.

Father, in the name of Jesus I ask that you deliver Mikki from this affliction. Give Mikki victory over every aspect of this overactive adrenal gland. Bring into perfect balance the system that regulates it, that peace and good health would result. We thank you for this in Jesus name, amen.

hey madmikkie baby, i pray for you! GOD DIDN'T GIVE YOU A SPIRIT OF FEAR, BUT OF POWER,LOVE AND OF A SOUND MIND...

EXCELLENT LINK FOR U!

... How Jesus DELIVERS

http://video.google.fr/videoplay?docid=434...ill+Schnoebelen

Yeah! I hope you don't think I sounded too much like a shrink.

David, that was a beautiful prayer. Father, I agree! I will continue to pray for you, I promise!


Mikkie... did you start having problems with anxiety after an aneurism? What a trial to have to go through!!! I missed that part I guess the first time I read the thread. I didn't know that there were after effects like this that resulted from aneurisms.

You must have an awesome husband and support system!

No - you weren't sounding too much like a shrink Julie - and no - not a problem after the aneurysm...except for maybe sleeping at other peoples houses - including my parents place......so you can imagine what I was like when I met my hubby. My support is me - because with the exception of an ex boyfriend type - and years after - my oldest friend - I didn't tell anyone. I just - didn't go anywhere. I've only recently told hubby about it because - I needed to...and that's the only reason why. There are still heaps of people who don't understand why I just stopped being the lets go to the movies, go out and have fun person - I just - couldn't do it - physically and instead - I'd let them argue over it - and decide I wasn't worth the effort...so that's that.

Most of it was before the aneurysm. When I met hubby I'd just been told I needed a biobsy thingo on my girly parts - can't remember what the word I'm looking for is - but then I was told I had HPV - so had to have another thingy done - where they burn things off - I'm soo hot andtired I can't think straight - so the first time I stayed here where we live now - I was pumped up on painkillers - that kind of helped Along with a glass of red wine that his exwife brought round.

But prior to all that - it was awful and it stemmed - in my humble opinon (NOT!) from a combination of things - drinking bore water at my christian camp after the campgrounds sank a bore - I'd be sick for the first 3 or 4 days of a 7 day camp......it was awful - until my system learned to cope with the water - took a while to work out what was causing it......then the last time I went to camp - I'd worked the water out - and it was fine. BUt - that year - my friend's father tried something on me.....which really really freaked me out - and annoyed me and all that stuff - my parents found out about that only 6 years ago - 15 years AFTER the fact....but that kind of upset the applecart....a lot. So I'd struggle at boarding school to settle for the first few nights - being accused of being anorexic (of all things - I would have thought it was obvious I wasn't) - not being able to eat much at night....then it just progressed from there. If I got to warm I'd sweat and feel dizzy - and nearly passed out in supermarket once - that was the last straw. After that it just got worse.

So now - I get hot - I take my clothes off - If I feel like I'm struggling and am not controlling - I'll start concentrating on my breathing...or leave the situation that's causing it - have a drink of water - and go back into it. Just when you're on the highway - that's a really steep DOWN hill and your brakes are wobbling - well.....there's nowhere to stop really! Not in that area anyway.

But - that's how I deal with it now. I just - push on....until I find a place where I can calm down a bit and have a drink of water - juice - whatever. Not to mention - God - please don't let this happen to me again - not again - type prayers....and 'nick of satan you piece of ****' type things (but only when I'm alone -don't want to embarrass myself and others by talking to 'myself' too often in front of them).

I tried to check out the link - but my computer was chomping it - spits and starts etc. I'll wait until I don't have to chase children.

Wow Mikkie. I'm so sorry that you have had to endure so much. I'm sorry that you were sick at a time that was supposed to be fun. I'm so so sorry that a man took advantage of you and robbed you of something precious and holy. I'm sorry that you've felt like you couldn't share your struggle with even the people that you love.

I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry.

Can I ask you- when you get the time- will you tell me how met Jesus? I WOULD SIMPLY LOVE TO HEAR YOUR TESTIMONY OF VICTORY!!!

I know that you "know" this in your head: Jesus loves you. But do you know in your heart that He is in love with you? He thinks you are beautiful, and worthy, and lovely. You are special. The Bible says that perfect love casts out all fear. A few months ago, I wondered about this passage of Scripture. I even asked the question of the forum- what is it about LOVE that makes us FEARLESS???? I think I am beginning to understand. If we truly "get it in our heads" JUST HOW MUCH WE ARE LOVED, there IS nothing to fear- not even DEATH! To know the love of your Heavenly Father is to find freedom. He LOOOOOVES you... I have figured out in only the past few months that much of today's problems, from societal problems to separate issues that individuals face, stem from the fact that we as a group of people don't understand that our Father in Heaven TRULY loves us. Once we begin to realize just how loved we are- we are free to love ourselves, love God, and love others. Sometimes when our relationships with our earthly fathers aren't so great, it is hard to understand or even comprehend Father's love for us. Ask Him to reveal His heart towards you in a new way. Mikkie... perfect love does indeed make all fear melt away.

Do you know that you are worth fighting for? If I were living near you and your friend- I would wait for you. I would stay home with you. I would pray with you. I would fight for your friendship- and aim for an honest and real relationship. You deserve love and to be loved unconditionally. And you know what? We have that unconditional love in Jesus, don't we? He fought for us! HE LOVES US! Flaws and all! And the REAL KICKER is that when Father God looks at us, He sees Jesus. I will pray that you realize just how valuable you are.

I am so glad that you have finally been able to share some of your struggles with your husband.

I hope that you don't feel insulted that I am going through some of the basics of our faith. I'm not trying to belittle you. I'll just simply tell you, at least for me anyway, that I NEED TO BE REMINDED by God and by others of God's love for me- Father's love for me, Jesus' love for me. It gives me STRENGTH. It gives me HOPE. It binds me with God's people.

Thank you for sharing with us here. I love you.

We ALL need to be reminded....regularly - because....we forget. Until we have to tell someone else - or speak to someone else about Jersus & about God - we DO forget.

As for whe I met Jesus - I - to tell you the truth - don't really know. I remember when I was 7 I was a Brownie - and that I promised that I would do my best to do my duty to God....to serve the queen and help other people and to keep the Brownie Guide Law. Yes - I can still remember it. I might have still been 6 - I don't know and we had speech night or something at Sunday school.....I remember driving in the car (at night) and mentioning to some older girls something about Jesus - and one of them said..."How would YOU know! You can't even spell Jesus." DOn't challenge Me on nuthing unless ya know what ya talkin' about matey! I turned around and I said "YES I DO! It's J E S U S and he loves me. I do know how to spell." I was....precocious.

I have vague memories of sitting in sunday school - funnily enough - only because of dresses that I wore....and that sort of thing. There's songs I know that I don't remember how I learned them...certainly not at camp that's for sure....maybe mum sang them round the house as well - but I know all the words to these little sunday school type songs and I don't know how. So - I guess it was there ( I do know church was boring! at that age).

Then a few years ago - after my now hubby got me to go to the church I now attend by promising me the roof wouldn't fall in - we went to a pentecostal style church....and February 24 (or 26 - the diary isn't on hand) - I answered an altar call....and the pastor said lots of stuff that I just knew he didn't know.....and I was told I had healing hands....etc etc...but they were getting quite forceful about me 'collapsing in the spirit of God' - quite pushy and I kept stepping back and stepping back coz I knew there was more to hear.

But even prior to that - in my rebellious teens I'd quote bible verses at my friends mum (they're now totally devoted christians) and stuff like that. So - that's that - and I was baptised by my husband about 4 years ago in the local river on a 34 degree day (thats HOT) with bushfires in the background.

But to be honest - I haven't 'endured' that much - at least - I haven't felt like I have. That's just who I was etc etc. If I had to deal with somethign - I'd deal with it my way - and on my own.....it was a thing I had...being in control of me.

I will also add to this that - whenever a Pastor has gone through the whole repentent - not saved rigmarole - whichever church I've attended - I've always repeated what they've said ( since they usually get up there and say - you don't have to say it out loud -just say it to yourself etc etc).....and each time - t here is that small kernel of peace inside.....if I don't feel it then - I do later - after all the noise and stuff had gone and I'm on my own.

And to tell the truth - I don't think I've ever NOT known Jesus or God......christianity is something I basically grew up with so it was always there. I don't remember my first day at school....or learning to read....but I remember the trip in the car, and the day I came home from Brownies ( which could have been the first time) and took everything out of my pockets to show mum what I had to have in them. It's funny what you remember and what you forget isn't it.

Lord, Please help Mickie through this, I ask that you intervene and stop it in its tracks.

In Jesus name I plead the Blood Of Jesus over this woman. She has the power, love and a sound mind in Jesus name.

Sing praises to the Lord Mick...(that is what I believe God wants, or at least that was what first came to my mind)

when you feel this way, start praising the Lord in song.

Amen jhamner, that is exactly how I deal with it. Head on and sometimes I have looked like a deer
caught in headlights, but I know our Lord is with me. I have gone to some places that I never thought
I would ever go, but if God is with us who is against us. Amen!

Your post was awesome and I believe totally right on, for dealing with it the way you have said has
helped me immensely. And we both know where are help comes from. Our precious Saviour. Amen!

love,
rosie