I'm dating a girl but how can i know if she is the one?
Can God tell me?
Can any of you tell me from God if she is or not?

Thanks

I have no "word from God".

But, I'll try to give an answer.

Marriage is a sacred vow (promise) to the girl, your families, neighbors, govt, God, Pastor, Church,.....etc
A vow which cannot be broken, unless she commits adultry.

Also, Marriage (in the eyes of the man-made law) is a legal (contractual) partnership, as in a business partnership. In other words, could you trust her with your life savings? Your checkbook, credit card, your children, ? All your possessions?

Is she a "good steward" of her resources? And your resources?

DOES SHE LIVE BY THE "GOLDEN RULE"?
The Golden Rule is : Do unto others as you would want others to do unto you.

Does she live in Extreme Love?
Jesus commanded us to live in Extreme, Intense, Agape Love. The kind of love that Christ has for us. Self-sacrificing love.
Would she sacrifice her life for yours?
Would she care (support, work hard) for you, when you're in-valid, sick?
Does she work hard to help the poor, and send Bibles to the Bible-less?

Paul told us, in the NT: "It's good to marry, and it's better to not marry."
It's better to marry, than to burn with lust for the girl.

If you're single, then, you can spend more of your time, resources, labor, talent on the Lord's Work.
If you're married, part of your resources are spent on entertaining the girl.

Marriage is wonderful if you get a good (Godly) girl.
Marriage is very bad if you get an un-Godly girl.

Godly means God-like.
You want a girl who thinks and loves like God does.

Even the BEST christian is far from perfect.

Where is her heart?
Where is her HEART?

...you must not have like the other responses from your brothers and
sisters in the last request ...or was it two times now...for the same
thing...

you already have the answer and you don't want to "listen" which
means that you don't want to obey your heart...for you are leading
in the flesh...and you have gone on with this way too long here and
you said 3 years or so, if i remember right...

are you just playing around? do you want a stamp of approval for
your activity? maybe the Lord is not giving her to you...and has
something else planned for the lady...did you ever consider her?

and at the right time He may lead you into a Christian life and
calling...have you considered what God wants from you? yeah,
well, He wants everything...

so, you need to ask Jesus Christ into your heart, ask for the
forgiveness of sins, and get yourself right in the Word...

you are not alone...many have wanted God to bless the mess that
they planned to make or did make...or whined cuz they want to
control it...and can't get out of the way...to let God have it and
do it.

God delights to give you the desires of your heart...they have to
be for Him first, above all else...everything else is idolatry...
brother. Come on alexseeker, move on. Put God on the throne of
your life.

signet

Is she in your mind day and night?
Did you memorize EVERYTHING she tells about herself, her family, her likes? Could you see yourself with another woman? Do you feel a sense of "arrival"? Do you stop looking at other women, phantasizing about other women??? What if she died? How would it make you feel? Do you want YOUR children with her?
(so many questions...)

Then she's the one...

What r u talking about? with the girl of 3.5 years i broke up last summer and I have said that on the forums. This is new girl I met her like 2 month ago.

Its only two months...its too early to tell if she is "the one"

No doubt

Pay attention to what Dennis said, it's the truth. And NO fornication!!! Hormones released during such episodes will give a false sense of emotional closeness. If you allow your hormones to govern your emotional state at this point, what will be your emotional state be after they fade? Please forgive me, but I'm going to speak frankly here. IF premarital sex is involved then how can you be sure you really love her? If she's willing to jump the fence now, what will keep her from jumping the fence later? When a relationship is built on Biblical principle, it will be a real and lasting one. If it is built on lust, what will happen when she is fat with child? When you are old and have prostate cancer and she has a broken hip?

I don't know you, or this girl, so please don't be angry with me for bringing these things up, but they do need to be looked at. Keep yourself pure for her, and her pure for you. Get to know her intimately, but not physically. It will take longer than two months, that's for sure. Remember that actions speak volumes more than words, and it will take time to see her actions regarding how she handles moral and spiritual problems.

Go with God, Alex.

Your sister in Christ, Angela

In the NT, it says:

Women should adorn themselves with "a gentle and quiet spirit,...... with good works, ........with Godly, Agape Love,.....the fruits of the Holy Spirit (love, joy, peace, humilty, gentleness, wisdom, helpfulness, faithfulness, longsuffering, patience, self-control, )"

Women are NOT to adorn themselves with the fancy braiding of hair, expensive clothes, jewelry, etc

***

Jesus wants our beauty to be inside , not outside only.

********
A local woman (a Holiness preacher) said:
"I went to Jerusalem, to the Dome of the Rock, it's roof is covered with gold, it was BEAUTIFUL!
I went to the Vatican, to St Peter's Basilica, the altar was ornate, covered in gold, it was BEAUTIFUL!
BUT! The Spiritual work that Christ is doing in our hearts is FAR more beautiful than any man-made beauty".


***

The Jim Bob Duggar family in Arkansas? has a rule for ALL of their 18 children: "I will be Joyful at all times, even when I am alone".
I like that!

What is a woman was married before and got divorced because her husband was cheating , can she remarry?

Yes.
Jesus said :
If your spouse commits adultry, you are allowed to divorce him (or her), and marry another.

In the OT, God said: "I hate divorce".

Divorce is serious business, in God's eyes.

But, keep in mind: None of us are perfect. Some of us Christians are (forgiven, repentant) liars, thieves, murderers, adulterers, homosexuals, etc

Suppose that a young person divorces, without just cause. And marries again. Does God carry an un-fixable Grudge against that person?
I heard a preacher say : "I believe that a person is entitled to one mistake", and he married a young couple who had been divorced. It was NOT right as per the Bible rules, but, we break the rules all the time.

Who among us has obeyed the instruction from Jesus: "Sell all that you have and give the money to the poor"? I've not done it, yet I THINK (HOPE, BELIEVE) that I'm saved.

I've done bad things.
My conscience is killing me, yet, I have the Joy of the Lord!

Jesus said "He who is forgiven little ...loves little.-----------He who is forgiven much...loves much".

And I'm not giving you permission to sin. When we sin, people get hurt. And we don't want to hurt anybody.

Good points here made by Angela.

Can I ask. Why do you need to know if "she's the one". This is a bit like trying to know the future. Just work on the relationship each day.
Is she a Christian? If not then you should break it off and find a believing woman to go out with.
If she is a Christian then have your parents met her. Do they think she will suit you? Parents know you and they will naturally like an appropriate wife for you without all the hormones messing up their perception of her.
Is she hard working, healthy, faithful, respectful. Does she want kids, how many? Does she curse, smoke, drink too much. Is she chaste? How does she react in a crisis. How does she handle conflict and stress. Is she stable and confident. All these questions must be considered.

Do not rush into a big decision. Don't whatever you do consult any kind of medium or Tarot card reader or astrologer or anything like that. The sort of question you have asked is a typical question which those type of people are often asked. Not many people would ask a priest or minister a question like that, so that has me a bit worried for you, that you are not quite approaching this issue correctly.

On the other hand, if the hormones are too much to handle and she is passing the tests above. I would not delay and would get married, and quickly. Better to marry than burn as the scripture says in 1 Cor 7. I am opposed to long courtships and engagements unless the young people are very young and are able to contain themselves. (An unlikely situation in this day and age I would suggest). If you are too young to marry then you should not be dating as seriously as to be considering marriage. I am very opposed to young people who are not of marriable age making out. (I'm not American so what I mean is heavy kissing, initimate embrace and suggestive speech and texting).

I believe that if a relationship has progressed to this intimate stage, then marriage should be organised for the next couple of months regardless of whether a suitable reception centre can be found. If this is not possible then the relationship should be broken off completely until marriage is a possibility. Seeing we are all anon here I can reveal that I was extremely intimate with my future wife during the engagement however our rule was to keep our clothes on until marriage. We therefore enjoyed a Song of Solomon passionate romance for 6 months or so before we were married. It saddens me to think that very few people experience what my wife and I did in this day and age because they go straight to consummation after the first few dates. I also feel sad for those straight-laced Christians who are so prudish as to require a chaperone until the wedding day (a rare breed today) and therefore go straight to consummation, missing out on all the wonderful romance.

Anyway that is my rant on dating. Its a serious issue for young people, and precious little sound guidance is given these days, where even in the Christian church, fornication is tolerated and swept under the carpet. A disgraceful situation where tolerance and trendiness is valued more highly than holiness and purity.

Well im not exaclty young, Im 28.
This woman that I'm with is 25 and she has been married and is divorced because of her cheating husband.

Well then what I have written is of no use or value to you then. I suggest that you just do as you please.

She is not "the one" for you.
she is someone else's "one"

Even though divorce is permitted,
God's hope for the divorced and broken families,,,is their reconciliation and restoration.

IF
Both parties were to return to their first love,,,,God,
Then the hardness of their hearts that led to the divorce may soften, and the two may become one again.

Would you be the one to stand between a husband and a wife from ever getting back together? Would you become a stumbling block to that?

Much as I realise that Alex is anything but seeking advice but is just parading his infatuations on this forum; nevertheless I must correct this incorrect teaching by RAF.

The scripture says
Matt 5:31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

This shows that fornication or adultery is an acceptable grounds for divorce. You said yourself RAF, that divorce is permitted. If it is permitted then what other reason is there for divorcing if it is not to at some stage remarry someone else.
RAF has advanced a strange doctrine that people divorce in order to remarry each other again at a later stage. This defies all common sense.

In Christianity we put incorrect pressure on betrayed spouses to forgive and reconcile. This is grossly unfair. Forgiveness is necessary for the cheated spouses' peace of mind, but reconciliation should not be required in this life. Adultery is almost condoned in the church today as pastors pressure women to reconcile; when in fact adulterers should be expelled from the church instead? The scripture is definite in striving to protect the innocent party, whereas very often Christians and pastors in particular are striving to protect the status quo and respectability at the expense of the innocent who are made to feel themselves guilty because they don't want to reconcile.

Here's a good article http://www.bible.ca/f-divorce-remarriage.htm

why do any bad things happen? and don't the majority turn out to be blessings in disguise? , perhaps so one could strengthen their relationship with God first???
How many times has the psalmist thanked God for his own brokenness so he could be corrected?

God causes all things to work for HIS purpose.
(his purpose is that we are all reconciled to HIM first, that we begin to reflect HIS image, so that we bring glory to HIM)


Whose common sense?
mankind's? With our fallen nature, our fallen intellect, we are fools to trust "common" sense.



Not willing to forgive or reconcile is a big indicator that there might be a hardness to someones heart.
God wants all of our hearts first for all of Him first.
That might be unfair too.

Can you love God with all your heart when it is hardened?

perhaps a "time out" is needed.
maybe a long time out.
No rush


fair or not,,should or should not be,,,we have been given the ministry of reconciliation. We are charged with it.

We are the bride of Christ.
Our first reconciliation,,,,is to HIM.
We all have divorced Him at some point,,,,we were all the prodigal son, we all have committed adultery
And is it fair to Him, that he take us back as his "Bride" ?
Consider that when you consider hardening your heart towards somebody.

IF the non-believer chooses to leave,,,let him/her go,
BUT
we are still bound to God, and we are to wait on the Lord.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring.
The prodigal son(or daughter) may yet oneday come home.

All things work for HIS glory,
we can either be a part of it, or apart from it.

Greetings. My chief complaint about this thread is that I don't see it as a prayer request at all by now (if it ever was) but more of a debateable issue on divorce and dating.

Please post prayer requests only in the "prayer request" forum and other threads elswhere under their appropriate topic.

Suppose that my wife commits adultry. and she is un-repentant.
Should I feel obligated to forgive and reconcile with her? No.

God has commanded me to forgive her, ........but to reconcile with an un-repentant adulterer? No.

If she is repentant, and wants to reconcile with me,.......that's ANOTHER situation, entirely.

*******

We are NOT ***entitled*** to a sex partner.
Suppose that I get married, and my wife becomes invalid, sick, in-competent, gone on a trip, etc.........Am I allowed to divorce, or commit adultry?
No. I become celibate, while married. (It can be done. It will not kill me)
If it DOES kill me, I'll be a Martyr! Hooray!

People who have homo-sexual desires..........are they permitted to act on those desires? It is forbidden.

Polygamy, incest, child-sex, extra-marital sex, animal sex (beastiality), cursing in the presence of children, cursing parents, etc ........these things are forbidden.

I have no infatuations with this forums but only am sekeing advice, hope I dont dissapoint you.

Alexseeker, to be frank, do you have a prayer request here? At the risk of me being poignant about the matter this part of the forum IS for prayer request, so what's your prayer request?

Good points here.

Most cheating spouses when caught out are oh so sorry. Sorrow of this world is altogether different to godly repentance. Repentance towards God brings reconciliation. Sorrow of this world only brings death. 2 Cor 7:10. King David is an example of Godly repentance after being caught in sin with Bathsheba and the murder of Uriah the Hittite and repented before God; "Against you only have I sinned". Did God cast him off? No because he judged his heart to be true, a true change away from sin and towards God.

The cheated spouse should be given the same prerogative to choose for themselves whether or not the spouse is truly repentant and changing towards reconciliation of the marriage or whether it is just a pitiful attempt to maintain the status quo.

Sure,, my request is to get an answer form God regarding this metter.

So
can i remarie this girl or not?

Yes, you can marry her. According to what you said, her husband was the adulterer, which is biblical grounds for divorce. Since she was not the adulterer, she is free to re-marry unless she marries another adulterer, then she is made an adulterer by marrying one. She doesn't have to reconcile to her adulteress husband. She is free from that mess. It gets a little bit trickier if children are involved, though. Does she have any children?



Just make sure both of you get some good Christian counseling before you decide to tie the knot (and also while you are married would be a good habit to get into. The bible has alot to say about the order of marriage and what is required in it's covenant), because it is a vow before God.

All things are permissible,
BUT
Are you absolutely 100%sure her husband will never repent, and she will never ever want to reconcile with him?
Are you 100% sure that God has given up on them and doesn't want them to be restored?

God is not finished with them yet.

You would be better off not pursuing her.

If we all had to be 100% sure about anything, we would have to tie ourselves to a chair and never go outside...



whatever you do alexseeker, do it in faith (and be faithful in it), and don't doubt.

I'm 100% sure that tying oneself to a chair and not going outside (permissible)
would be a bad idea too

God will not strike you dead on the spot if you do decide to tie yourself to a chair or marry this girl,
BUT
in the same way tying yourself to a chair and never going outside again kinda cuts out what plans God has in mind for you to do,
marrying this girl may be cutting out whatever miracle God had in the works for that couple.

Whatever miricle?
There is only sop much people can take and God to,,they already got back once with bad results, Now their diorce is finalized and she has a restraining order against him. So what miricle is she supose to be waiting for here?

Actually, what I meant is that it's impossible to be 100% sure about anything without having faith in what you're doing. If we had to rely on 100% assuredness, then we might as well sit and do nothing. Faith is the assurance (substance) of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. If God wants this couple to get back together, then there's nothing that will stop it from happening. But it is incumbent on that couple, not Alexseeker. If Alexseeker did something underhanded to try to prevent them from getting back together, in a malicious self-serving way, then he would not be acting in faith. But from the information gathered here, he has doubts because he is unsure what God would direct him to do (which is commendable, because he is seeking God's will and not his own, presumably). And I say, according to scripture, that he is not doing wrong if he decided to marry her, based on the information he is telling us. I have no idea if he is holding something back, but that is between him and God. The same thing goes for the girl and her ex-husband. It's their conscience's that will ultimately prevail, or not. Am I wrong? Shouldn't we let our own consciences be our guide?

1 Corinthians 7:10-11

To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

According to scripture,,,he would be enabling her to do what she ough not to do.

Its a terrible idea to let your conscience be your guide. We will not be judged by our sincerity.

I was forced to divorce my wife. It was and forever will be unreconcilable. I chose to work things out even after she had slept with another man in my own house. My conscience told me to try and work it out. Her conscience was seared as with a hot iron.

My wife divorced me about a year ago.
We were separated for 2 years because we were both unfaithful.
I am still hopeful for reconciliation.
BUT
The whole time we were separated,,,this "christian" man was secretly dating my wife and my kids.
While God's word says one thing,
the boyfriend lures her away with contrary, and a mega church that just tickles everyones ears.

Divorce is terrible.

My advice still, is to not get involved with the divorced,
you dont know whose toes you are stepping on.
The other person is NEVER from God,,,,,,be it a pagan or a "christian"
you dont want to be the "other person"

God's will, is that marriages and families be healed.
Its man's heart keeps that from happening.

This is a complete misuse of the scripture. That passage is talking about a Christian woman who has an unbelieving spouse. She should not leave him, but if she does because he is persecuting her too much then she must remain unmarried. Why? Because the husband (who has not abandoned his wife) still wants the marriage to continue. Paul is encouraging the woman therefore to work towards reconciliation.

None of this has anything to do with divorce or abandonment which is covered in the very next passage which you conveniently did not cover.

1 Cor 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases:

So if a brother or sister is not under bondage if her unbelieving spouse abandons her, how can you say that a brother or sister IS under bondage if her adulterous spouse abandons her.

This issue is too complex for us to decide on a forum, not knowing the individuals or the specific details of the case. A pastor would have trouble unravelling this. And who would obey him these days anyway? Most people will just do what they want and if the pastor doesn't like it, then tough, they go off to a mega church where nobody cares one way or another. Still you could die in your chair and noone would notice you in one of those places.

This case is no different. Alexseeker is seeking only one thing and he'll take it no matter what anyone thinks.

Well i have doubts my self,, This woman has two kids from the last marriage. I never had kids and dont know if I can handle raising two kids that are not even my own, although it should not really metter, kids are kids. Maybe Im just getiing myself into a mess. Yet we seem to get along real good so far .
This is confusing for me.

The worst thing for you to do is to marry this woman with doubts in your mind. I guarantee it will not work out if you are in doubt.

I'd run for your life. Too much baggage here.

DArn:(
Hmm I go from one problem of 3.5 years with my ex and now I find this...
From one uncertainty to another..

I can't make right decisions any more i think..

I wish that we could "fix" it for you.

I wish that we could fix all the world's problems.

BUT! think about this:
If it wasn't for problems, God would have no way to ***TEST*** our faith and love. If no-one was poor, then, I would never learn to mature in Charity, Love, and Helpfulness.
If no-one ever hurt me (and I never hurt anyone), then, I would never mature in Forgiveness, Grace, Mercy, Patience, longsuffering, slow to anger, quick to forgive.
If there were no Dark days, then, I would not learn to appreciate the Light and Wisdom.
If there were no Ceasars, Pharisees, and persecutors, then, there would be no Martyrs.
Genesis 22;1
God tested Abraham's faith.
Salvation is THROUGH FAITH.
God told us to "Believe". Faith is OUR job (not God's job).
How did Paul obtain that "crown of righteousness"? He KEPT THE FAITH, FINISHED THE RACE, FOUGHT THE GOOD FIGHT.

And we want to follow in Paul's example.

I am sorry I don't have an answer for you....Seek the Lord on your own behalf, He will lead you into what He has already prepared for you...
*******************************
Answer these questions: Anyone, I am just curious to know the responses....

1. What if a woman and man marry before truly knowing Christ but divorce after 2 years because the husband won't work and is an acholic?

2. What if that same women re-marries 4 years later to another man, but neither one of these people truly know Christ either, but later divorce because the husband cheated on the wife?

3. What if that same woman re-married, the first husband past away, but the second cheating husband is still alive, but now, the woman and man in this marriage are dedicated to the Lord?

A. Would the woman be guilty?
B. Would the man be guilty?

If either are guilty, what are they guilty of?

What would the cause be for this senerio?

are you both under the new covenant, under the Blood of the Lamb,
born again? serving the Lord, serving each other as servants, and
serving others while living unto the Lord?...well, then your sins have
been forgiven you...go your way and sin no more...

what else is there to say?

blessings,
signet

Good answer





Good answer

I dont know

but yes as i think about kids seem like too much bagage:(

Alex, if you can think of the kids as 'baggage', then this family is not for you. That's what it is, a family, one which you would become a part of, for better or worse. That means loving her children as though they were your own. If you are not capable of that, then continuing this relationship would not only be unfair to you and her, but the children, as well. Please consider everbody involved, no matter how young they are.

In Christ, Angela