It has been a while since Ive finally had the chance to get back on here.
Right now, to say the least, im struggling.
For the past 3 (give or take) weeks the enemy has attacked me persistently.
Up till this week, it had been mere temptation, but this week that temptation has manifested into sin
that I should not have in my life. Due to many circumstances, I havent had time for my personal prayer time or an efficent amount of time for personal worship or bible study. These circumstances have also attacked my church attendence. Though these circumstances are slowly coming to an end, I find myself losing the desire to seek or obey my lord. i find myself waging war against myself, part of me saying preservere, while the other side just tells me to give up completely. When I pray the conviction is so strong that it causes prayer to be a burden. Ive asked for forgiveness so many times these past few weeks (mostly for the same sin) that I dont trust myself enough; and no matter how sincere I might be at the moment, I fear that in a day or so Ill just dissappoint my savior again. (this causes me to not even want to ask for forgiveness)
Mainly I would just like prayer for my spirit to be renewed and my flesh rebuked. I dont know what else to pray for and I feel that if I keep going the route Im going, Ill surely fall.
This is the first time Ive ever been attacked with such apathy, and Im unsure as to how to handle it. If anyone has struggled with these same issues, advice would be greatly appreciated

I would be a liar if I said I haven't struggled against the principalities of darkness. I have suffered with severe depression another tatic the devil would wish one to abide in.
Don't ever stop praying....that would only give the devil delight..
I read another thread about asking for the Holy Spirit to renew us. We have to beleive that God is for us not against us...he is remember that. The Devil would have you to beleive otherwise.
And that the Devil wants to drown out our thoughts to despair instead of Victory already won by Christ Jesus our Savior. We are covered in the blood of Christ...and say this anytime some thoughts wish to bring you down...Get thee behind me Satan.
God loves you where you are and he walks before us. Stay close to him at all times and in his word.
Remember in the Garden, when God said who told you you where naked. Jesus is clothing us all, into his likeness. Greater is he that is within you than you are of yourself. He is the potter be willing to be molded even if its painful.
God's Blessing to you...

Psalms 139....you are a child of God...Honor God and he will Honor you.

I highly doubt that if you admit apathy to sin that you really have apathy to sin. Your admission of struggle is enough to show that your spirit wants to change but your flesh is not willing. Admit your so-called apathy to God, for this is where justification and mortification of fleshly desires begins. Don't hold anything back from God, confess your sins to Him "only" and He is righteous and just to forgive. Ask for His strength to overcome whatever sinful desire you are having. Ask Him to give you an insight to whatever you can do to occupy that time you are yielding to temptation with something more productive to take your mind off of it, and this too will pass.



If it is a sexual sin, you are going to have a really hard time with it until you ask yourself "Is this really what I want? How is this productive?" God knows our weaknesses better than we do. Ask God to show you why you are weak in this area (if that is the case, I do not know). If you are living in an uncommitted pre-marital arrangement, ask God to help you make that commitment in marriage (I'm just making assumptions)



Find out what the root is of whatever problem you are having and cut it out at the root. If there is someone in your life tempting you to do something, then you must not associate with that person, or be bold enough to tell them to stop and warn them to repent.



If it has to do with any other lust or envy or "addiction", take steps to change your habits by identifying when such temptation occurs, and take a detour from that path. God can show you if you ask for guidance, but you have to take that step in faith, it won't just magically happen.



I am making alot of assumptions here, because of the vagueness of your post, so forgive me if I am on the wrong course here. The main thing is to find out why you are having this problem and to learn how not to give this sin provision (remove the source of this problem from your life, or remove yourself from it) I know it's easier said than done and it may take a long time. Be patient with God and He will be patient with you.



God bless

Just last month I made a website about my testimony. I never planned on doing that but by just two days everything came together and I put everything out there. I started just by writing a blog and it ended in an autobiography full of confession and I came to the realization of how Satan has kept me in darkness all these years. I have struggled with depression my whole life and I had never told anyone about it before except for my dad about two years ago. My mom and her mom have bipolar as well and supposedly it's passed to the children (though I'd honestly say it could just be the environment). So on this website: http://www.webpages.ttu.edu/jodiwils/ I wrote about my past and put up every other thing about the Real Me that I had saved. This is what I wrote before I decided to share all of this:


(12/15/06) I began to talk about my past, specifically about hypocrites when I noticed that I had almost written a short story about my life! I had just kept going, describing my childhood and the fears that I held inside and never told anyone. I wanted people to know. To know that I was not who they thought I was. That by writing this message, I was letting go of it all. Originally I did not set out with this goal, but since I have written all that I have, I see what my writing has done. It has freed me from that darkness that held me for so long. By God's grace alone, I did nothing to deserve the light He gave me, I was simply blessed with people who prayed for me and blessed with my own desire to see Him. Just since I began writing yesterday, I have been made new. I now see that the accusing voice in my head was not me and it was not God. I think we all know who it was, the only one who causes death. But I testify today that he has now died his own death, Jesus Christ has shown His power and it is the greatest, even the devil's lies are put away by Him. I have seen the answers to prayer over my life just by my ability to say this today. I did nothing but let Him show me. Matthew is a beautiful person and so strong in the faith, but he is nothing compared to Jesus Christ, and he tells me that every time I compliment him. Matthew and I are not to be admired, we have just been given grace so that we may extend it to those around us who need it. And my heart has always burned for those I love, people who deserve death but I wish nothing but love and mercy, as does Jesus Christ. Because I have seen the power of prayer in my own life, what I will do for those I love is simply to pray and to love them. I now believe that prayer silences the devil, that serpent who whispers in my ear, he who wants to deny Jesus' power. I will pray for God's people to brought out from darkness and to see Him. I ask for nothing but to see those around me walk in the light as I believe I start to. I am not asking for people to look to me, but to look to Him who has called me.



YoungServant, I also recently sent my cousin this information and I went off on a big discussion about depression being Satan's tool to keep us from our God Given glory. Unfortunately I didn't save it and she hasn't replied yet and I wrote a lot, but the point is that you/me/she are/is not alone in this. Depression is one of the most prevalent mental disorders in the world and yet those who are in depression think that they are completely alone and no one knows how they feel and that they will never come out of it or even deserve to. But that's what the devil wants you to think, and obviously it's not true. So I hope you keep talking with people who can help you come out of this, because we want to help you and we need you, and we can only say that because we believe that Someone can help you. Sorry if this doesn't really pertain to you, I might have got carried away a bit See you around, and check out this link if you'd like, it helped me out before: http://www.rbc.org/bible_study/answers_to_...wers/30926.aspx

This link is very helpful...thank you for posting. Anytime you would like to converse just PM me.
Who knows God brings us together for a purpose to help one another. God loves you.
I say this because your post (Agape) about journaling has helped you and it has helped me too here, things I just couldn't express but the Holy spirit helped me express them and deal with them more and more. Gathering with beleivers too.

Hello 'Young Servant'.

I really feel that I can relate to what you're experiencing.
For a period in my life I've been living in a new place with not so many friends around,and also a much more "desolate" place than I'm used to. Been having periods of temptations and falling repeatedly,then after repenting..things have gone well -for a while- just to start over again.I still find myself in this struggle..but let me tell you how thing's starting to work out for me.
First-let me say that I believe that your "apathy" experience is a sort of product from your falling into sin..which is unavoidable,since sin causes damage.I suspect it's a sort of spiritual "law" which comes to us,even as the children of God.It simply hurts one way or the other. The damage in your case (that I find resemblance to in my life) now seems to be mostly on the Emotional level.

The good news is what God has done for us,and the grace in which we stand. I've found myself becoming increasingly interested and absorbed with the Grace of God..and can already start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Personaly I'm a big reader; I don't know about you. Maybe you like to listen to audio-preachings (as do I) or simply talk more with friends and stuff..but I sincerely think this is the best advice that I can give you. To focus more on Gods Grace.
I've come to realize that we do not win over sin with "our" struggling in the flesh ,as through the law etc, but through exposure in God's wonderful light - diving into it. /Getting to terms with reality in a deeper way.

Recently I read a book by Philip Yancey : "What's so amazing about grace?" and it was stimulating and helpful in many ways, and any day another book by Swindoll called " The grace awakening" will dimp down in my mail-box. I also try and view event in my life through the "lens" of grace, memorizing and pondering Bible truth's etc. It's still a Battle but I feel more hopeful(and not so cut of and lost) with this in mind. This ,my friend is the most sincere answer I can give you ,and I want you to know that I deeply feel with you,even though we don't know each other personally. Stay in the good fight!

GOD LOVES YOU.