Some of you are aware that I've been 'writing' prayers for people. And you know I think that they're 'pretty good'. I'm not being cocky or anything when I say that - far from it. Most of the time - I may start it and end it - but what comes out in the middle - doesn't kind of seem to come from me. I mean - I'm writing it - but it's like the pen takes off and that's that. Sometimes, it ceases to be a prayer and almost becomes a word from God - NOT something I would deliberately do at all. I would never pretend to hear from God if I wasn't darn sure it was. And even when I think it was? I question it!

Example: Today - I was reading John, Son of Thunder - trying to get it finished. I'm finished with the part where Mary - mother of Jesus is narrating to Luke, her story. I'm up to where John receives word that Rome is burning and he's terribley concerned for Peter.

I don't recall if I was looking in the mirror ( something I don't often do to look AT myself) or if I was just snuggling down getting ready to put the book down, when I had the words the Hand of the Lord is Upon you run through my mind.

I'm like - what? Is that me? Do you mean me? No - I've obviously picked it up from reading the book - it can't be me.

I got up and went to the bathroom, and I'm sitting on the toot (of ALL places) minding my own business - not really thinking about what had just occurred - but yet - it was still in the back of my mind, and I got Truly, I say the Hand of the Lord is upon you

So - now I rush to write it down and show it to my husband because - I TRULY DON'T KNOW! WAS it God? or was it me? Wouldn't He say - MY Hand is upon YOU? So you see - there is confusion thingo number 1

Then - yesterday - I was writing a prayer for our church - we're down quite a lot fund-wise this year - and so I was readying for a nap - my children had had me up very early - and I 'received' this prayer. Why would God send me a prayer?? Or is my subconscious - my God-conscious working? Then - after I'd typed it up in preparation for giving it to the pastor last night - I was walking through the lounge when all of a sudden - running through my head I had The Hand of the Lord is upon this church

So what's the deal? Am I subconsciously fantasizing these things? Or is it truly for real?

God - I'm really sorry for doubting that it is you if it is you - but gee - whizz - why me?


Confusion number 2!
And another thing - why can I write these prayers for others - but when it comes to me - I can't write diddley squat for me? For us?? I mean - I can write a prayer to heal my husband. I can write a prayer for the Lord to help me to cope! But for other things - I cannot. And, as soon as I start to read these words out loud that I've written - eeeww! I can't stand the sound of my voice - I sound - dumb! Stupid! Even praying in my head - let alone whispering it self consciously - I stammer and stutter....which is why I write them. But - I truly don't like the sound of my voice when praying out loud - in fact - when speaking to a group of people. I cringe! WHY? WHy is that???

Is the reason I can't pray out loud - or feel effective when it comes to praying for us - me - whatever you want to call it - because I just don't believe I deserve what I'm praying for? I can have a whole dialogue with myself. I can ask for something - and my mind says - you don't deserve that why should He give it to you? And I'll interrupt saying - I know I don't deserve it - and you're right - He probably won't - hmm - why should He...and it goes on and on and on. Or I'll feel like I'm being greedy or 'wordly' and not leaning on Faith to get me through.

And yes - why would God send me a prayer to write for someone else who will be praying it to God? Why doesn't He just put those words in that person's mind or mouth? Why would God send me something to give back to Him???


Enlightenment is REQUIRED! And you know - God's up there probably shaking His finger saying - You wally! Can't you just believe that I would do this for you????

Hello MM,

You have the answers within you. Your are hearing from God.
You have asked the King of the Universe to come into your heart, yes?

As I posted about another subject today...I spoke to God, " God,
I believe...help me with my unbelief" . And He did.

He uses clay ...humble, and He makes us vessels of mercy, and
vessels of honor, to be used in the the temple...He is the temple and
we are the temple...we are His temple...

His voice can be a voice the is the still small voice...or a roaring
voice like rushing waters...or the sound of thunder that shakes us
to a place of awe... that is what you were reading...

Receive what the Word has given you...it is for you, about you and
it's time is now...get this down inside you...it will grow, like all seed
and believe it, water it , read it, and give praise...and thanks...
just do that in the morning and in the evening when you get a little
break from the hubby and kidlets. Sister, you will be taken to
deeper waters...and you will walk on them.

Blessings,
Signet

Thank you Signet. Umm - how come you're a newbie? Haven't you been here a while??

Anyway - one of the worst things about these 'episodes' - for want of a better term - is they always leave me feeling.....anticipatory. Like I'm waiting for something really really exciting to happen. And when it doesn't - it doesn't just 'stop' feeling like that - tthe sense of, oh - call it urgency - just slowly goes away. I wonder if that's a spiritual high. Hmmm.....but i do feel a little down afterwards.

I don't deserve it, you don't deserve it, no one but Christ Jesus deserves anything but death. But death is not the gift of God for believing in Christ Jesus.
You are letting your humility be used by the enemy.
The next time the enemy enters your mind telling you, "you don't deserve it", reply to him. "it is true I don't deserve it but Christ in me does", so get behind me accuser.
Then get on about the Lords business.
The enemy knows that you can have what ever you ask in Jesus name but the enemy will do everything that he can to discourage you from asking.
The body of Christ deserves what ever they ask in Christ Jesus believing. This is one of the promises of Christ Jesus.

Matthew 21
22 And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive."

I agree. The good things (like writing down prayers, EVEN FOR YOURSELF) are from God.
The bad things (like the bad feeling to pray out loud) are from the enemy.

God loves when we pray, God wants us to pray. Sometimes he puts us deliberately in awkward position so that we have to pray. Prayer is like conversation to him, and he loves to fellowship with us. He likes prayers, but also simple conversation with him, like when you share your day with him. He also loves praise, and thanksgiving!

So feel free to pray when you want. Maybe the good feelings are there to tell you what you are doing this instant lines up with what God would want you to do; like an encouragement.

You have been anointed to write down prayers. Cool!

Please, LORD, give MadMikkie clarity in her thoughts, show her the path, guide her; give her spiritual discernment so that she can recognize when the enemy is at work and give her inspiration through the Holy Spirit so that she can put Satan back in his place, where he belongs, so that he will leave her for a season.
Thanks, God!

In Jesus' name, I pray!

I agree with signet "get this down inside you".
It's from God. Accept it. (don't reject it.)

And yes - why would God send me a prayer to write for someone else who will be praying it to God? Why doesn't He just put those words in that person's mind or mouth? Why would God send me something to give back to Him???

Two of my favorite scriptures answer this question...

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

(Isa 55:8-9 and Prov 3:5)

Thank you all. I ended up going to see a friend last night - she explained it kinda like - some french dude named Henri someone said - God mad a flower to be a flower. So - by being a flower it is bringing glroy to God - worshipping etc. She - my friend - is a counselling flower - that's what she does. Me - I'm a writing flower!

And I will try to not let nasty nigel to get to me - sometimes I forget about where negativity comes from - I tend to just think of it as me.

So maybe I'll sit down and 'consider' my needs and wants etc - even though they will not just benefit me but my family and my friends and my church - and decide if they really are needs and wants that are wanted and needed. Maybe that will help me with my prayers for my family.

Okay - what follows I reckon is enough to make most of you jump on an airyplane, come over here and bash my head up against a wall - to knock some sense into me if nothing else. It's a 'conversation' if you could call it all happening quietly in my head a conversation. I wrote it down after my rest - so it's not 'word' perfect - but pretty darn close. In fact - I'm not entirely sure how it actually started - I was reading Joshua! Finished John and I'm trying to get into Joshua and I'm being 'distracted' by what's going on - I swear I'm going bonkers.


Him: What do you want?
Me: You know what I want.
Why don't you ask for it?
No!. Why should you give it to me? Why would you?
Doesn't it say Ask and ye shall receive
Yes
Is not My Hand upon you?
Yes.
Then ask.
No.
Ask!
NO!
ASK!!!
I don't want to.
Why not?
You know why not!
Tell me.
I'm afraid.
Of?
That you might give it to me.
But it's what you want.
I know that!
So why are you afraid?
Because...it might be the ruination of us?
And...?
I don't want that.
The Hand of the Lord is upon you.
I know...but...
But what? You know it! Believe it!
But you've given me 3 beautiful children and a husband! I want our marriage to be what a marriage is supposed to be.
So? Ask.
But if I ask, and You give, then the result might be that our marriage doesn't be what it's supposed to be.
Ask, and YE SHALL RECEIVE!. ASK.
Can I have a sleep and write it down later? Please?
Why?
I'm just - I'm tired andmy eyes hurt and I'm afraid.
Of?
Of YOU! Of Your glory and your power and of why you would give it to someone who doesn't deserve any of it at all - who deserves nothing! Are you happy now?
Ask.




So - i've had my nap - and I am still very reluctant to put down on paper what it is I want. I'm not inclined to tell anyone else either - so I won't - but boy - I was the one rolling my eyes at the conversation as it happened. Do you think He wants to just smack me silly or what! All I have to do is ask! He hasn't said when He would give it - or how - just that if I asked - I would receive. Maybe I have to ask MYSELF - if I really want what I want!:wacko:

OR - maybe I should just book in at the psychotherapist or psychiatrist!

heh, I knew I wasn't the only one. Oh, that little voice in my head?....it's me.

not God

not Jesus

not the devil

but just little ol me

Now, I just believe in Christ, trusting in God as He reveals who I am...to...me

Oh and we are to be conformed to His image...

When Jesus walked this earth, He came as a man. He was packaged
in the same humanity we are...and He said I do only what the Father
shows me...

Where does the Voice of Love come from...inside, out there, in here..
everywhere, the still small voice...in your head, your heart, your
dreams, your writings...

Accept the rainbow as a gift of His promise...MM I read your
discussion...it reminds me of CS Lewis a little bit...you have a gift
of writing...and the call of a scribe was very important...listen
carefully to the Holy Spirit, write down what you hear...then do, or
be...free. You are in the hands of the most high God.

He has not given us the spirit of fear...sound mind, power, and love.

Speak forth affirmations of His word, and refuse to speak in doubt
even if you feel it...be honest with Him, but refrain from using
the adversaries words...crazy, insane, nuts, unstable...we hear this
enough from outside...don't let it echo inside. It is a lie.

God is perfecting each of us...for His purposes. He knows who we
will touch and what impact we will have in our lives, through our
lives, through our struggles, and through our overcoming...

Greater is He in me, than he in the world. I like to think of it this
way, too. Greater is He in me, than Me in the world. He is greater
than your doubt...so stop it. He is for you. Dare to trust Him.

It is a process...a walk...a relationship that costs everything, us
and gives everything, us through Him. Does that make sense.
Walk on your high places...

PS I left for awhile...my nerves frayed a little and my faith waivering
too. So I took time for constructive direction and I am in the middle
of a blessing that is progressing...I am following...like following
a candle into the darkness of the unknown...trembling, excited...
joyful, and yet alone...solitary and learning to trust at a new level
my letting go...I feel like a pipe...I just let go...the dialogue with
the Almighty is a flow of spiritual consciousness, awareness, but
unexplainable...and always I am waiting for the confirmation of
the last phrase...the impression that repeats itself and the moment
that seems to linger for a lifetime, eternity is within us as the
God of creation is in us...we are part of that incredible miracle...
hidden with Christ in God.

Signet

How's this for a 'coinkydink'!

A couple of hours ago my boys - the nearly 3 year old, the nearly 2 year old and the very definately 44 year old but I'm really 4! - were playing in the blow up pool the real toddlers got for their birthday last year. My MIL rang - to pass on a message from a very old friend - in her 90's - whom I don't know from a bar of soap. She had read my article It's Time - in the Tasmanian Baptist Advance Newspaper ( now I know it's called a newspaper not a magazine) - seen the name at thebottom - my photo - and hot footted it to the phone to ring the MIL. She was impressed by the article then said to my MIL At last - he's finally got the right kind of girl to be married to! To which I said - how would she know??? wondering if MIL had told her about me during the phone call - nope - apparently - this lady 'just knows things' - she's what my MIL calls a very special christian lady who can tell certain things......I am presuming my MIL is agreeing with her.

So the coinkydink - my concern that what I 'want' would affect my marriage negatively - this message from a stranger seems to indicate otherwise - in my humble opinion.....

THIS HAPPENED A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO NOW... but I thought of it when I read your post Signet.
________________________________________________________________________________

Do you know why we have jingle bells at Christmas?

In the Old Testament on the Day of Atonement, the high priest would go into the Most Holy Place wearing a jingle bell around his foot. As long as the other priests could hear the bell, they knew that the priest was alive. Because God could strike the priest dead at any time, the ringing sound was reassurance to the nations that their sins would be forgiven! If the bell stopped ringing, they knew the priest had perished.

Before I went to bed last night, I prayed that the Father would tell me about Himself. I'm confused by the Trinity. I love Jesus- and I feel like I can approach Him. But the Father? He's still a little scary to me. I know I am supposed to have a reverent awe, but where is the boldness we are told to have? Jesus is the way to the Father, but I find myself stopping at Jesus. I asked Father God to tell me who He was and reveal Himself to me.

Then I had a dream about jingle bells.

It began with a little boy safe in his father's care. His father had this beautiful sounding bell that the boy grew to love. Have you ever seen the movie or read the book The Polar Express? Well, it was like that. Just like in Polar Express this bell was special, and it took belief to hear.

Time passed and suddenly the boy got separated from his father. The boy, now an orphan, was alone and full of fear. He looked and looked for his father, but couldn't find him. However, after many years had passed, he still hadn't given up. One day, in a gas station, the boy was paying for much needed food at the counter (using money he had probably begged for) when the boy saw a older man that he thought he might recognize. However, it didn't hit him who this man was until the older gentlemen left the store. Sometimes when you exit a store, there is a bell that rings announcing customers’ departure. Well, this time, the bell that rang was that special bell that only he and his father knew about. The boy knew the man was his father. The boy ran after his father but was too late. However, he could still hear the sound of the bell, so he followed, using the ring as a guide.
The boy got on the back of a semi as the truck was about to take off. He listened. It seemed there were bells all around- many many bells, but the boy knew that none of these bells had the magical sound of his father's bell. He kept riding. Suddenly, a snow storm hit. It was bitterly cold on the back of the truck. All around him were noises, seemingly endless clanging almost like in a parade. But still, the boy kept riding to try to get his father. He even got really sick, but still he kept trying to get to his father- following after that distant special bell.

When I woke up I knew the Father was speaking.

I understand that kind of conversation...

Mikkie, it's all important for you to be in the Lord's will...

you have to find that place in you - so that you, the creature, will ask the Creator!

Know your place. Keep the adversary (fear)at bay.

Ask.

God knows how to give the best ...

oh thank YOOZ! Julie - a wonderful dream! And signet - you need a hug!

I tlaked to my oldest friend last night - who asjked me to do a prayer for her! And said - don't forgetto ASK! So - I wrote it down - and it's nothing like I'd write for anyone else - and I asked why that was - but I got the answer before I'd even finished! I haven't sealed it or burned it like I said I would after I'd spoken it - I also ad libbed as well - from what I'd written - I was down on my knees doing it. So - it's done - and I said - if it was by His will that it be done - then it is His will. Mind you I also admitted to procrastination while doing it.

So we shall now see - but I will not sit back and wait - I will continue on as before and do what I do

Bu t - I did ask

Signet,
It's so good to see you back!
Debbie

Hi,

blessings upon all who enter here...I am so blessed to enter this place.

signet