A couple of weekends ago, I went to a conference where we participated in an exercise that was supposed to uncover any emotional baggage we'd been carrying around all of our lives.
To give you some background on my personal story:
Before I was born, my biological parents had a baby and named her Candy. A short time later, my biological mother got pregnant and gave birth to me and my twin brother. Shortly after we were born, Candy began to get really sick. She eventually died of a type of blood cancer before her 2nd birthday.
My mother lost it. She bolted and left my father with two twins. He had lost his job being at the hospital so much with Candy and now had to try and figure out a way to support two 1 year olds. Well, he could not. I'm not exactly sure when, but he eventually dropped us off at a children's home. From that point on, my brother and I were in the system. We moved from foster home to foster home (luckily never being separated). At the last foster home, the mother (Sandy) was really abusive. She had five foster kids and I believe was doing it for unpure motives... that's all I'll say. Anyway, there was a girl there, about 14 or so, named Lisa. She abused me. Because I was living in such a state of chaos and distrust, I told no one... not even my brother.
I was adopted (PRAISE GOD) along with my brother into a great home. My parents are great.
Fast forward to a couple of years ago. It was after I was saved. I called my biological father. His name is Dave. I also got in contact with my biological mother too... her name is Patty. It was really cool to see where all my "stuff" came from. For instance, my brother and I are EXTREMELY into music. I have danced and won many awards in my life. My brother plays the guitar, is an okay pianist, and can sing pretty well too. Well, my parents are not musically inclined at all. When I called Dave, I found out that he played in a band and sang. He was also really into history and politics (I am a social studies teacher). Anyway, it was really cool.
I had long ago forgiven Sandy and Lisa of their abuse. I had also forgiven my biological parents even before I ever called them. I just KNEW there had to be a really good reason for giving the two of us up. AND THERE WAS. My heart breaks for that part of Dave and Patty's lives.
So........ I thought I was healed.
I was wrong.
During the conference, after a long introduction to emotional scarring and trama, Kathi Oates (our speaker that night) began the exercise. She told us all to close our eyes. After we had done this, she said, "Ask the Lord to show you a wall that you have in your life." When Kathi first did this exercise, she said she saw a wall labeled MISTRUST. After she saw the wall, she was told (as we were told) to ask the Lord to remove the wall. She visually saw the wall being removed by a wind.
At this point she paused and said, "Now some of you can see nothing. If that is you, there are anger issues. You have rage issues most likely." That was me. I saw nothing. As soon as she said anger, I began to cry. Weep. Wail. Many people around me began to cry, weep, and wail. It was unlike anything I have ever experienced. She asked the Lord to minister to our anger. As soon as she said this, the entire church exploded with emotion. Our pain was being ministered to.
After Kathi saw her MISTRUST wall torn away, she saw standing behind the wall an image of herself at about 2nd grade... FAT KATHI. Kathi was asked if she loved FAT KATHI and she replied repulsed, "NO! I hate her!" When she was fat Kathi, she was teased, rediculed, and hated. But fat Kathi possessed things that she left in the past. Fat Kathi was a book worm, with a long attention span, who loved herself and life. After she asked the Lord to minister to fat Kathi, she asked fat Kathi back into her life and she says that she was healed of pain that she burried long ago.
The crazy part of this whole thing is that after the exercise was done, physical healings took place. A woman with rhumatoid arthritus was healed (I'm sorry guys, spelling). Someone else who had major back problems was healed. Another person threw his hearing aid away because he heard for the first time correctly in 20 years.
I went to this conference and the Lord uncovered all this hurt that I never knew I carried with me. My greatest fear is so cliche for foster children- fear of abandonment. I didn't even know it, but I found that I am afraid that Jesus will leave me too- the moment I do something WRONG!!! It was terrible and awful to have all this stuff uncovered. Truthfully, I feel pretty raw.
It sounds all too bizarre when I type it out. But the physical healings as a result of the emotional healings were proof enough to me that when we are tramatized, a part of our soul is severed and until we face that part and heal, we lose a part of ourselves forever. I knew that I knew the God was trying to reach to that deep hurt. Scriptures that I had been reading the weeks prior, thoughts that I had were brought up. It was crazy.
I was wondering if anyone had any comments.
Full Version: Emotional Healing
QUOTE(jhamner @ Nov 28 2005, 04:41 PM)
A couple of weekends ago, I went to a conference where we participated in an exercise that was supposed to uncover any emotional baggage we'd been carrying around all of our lives.
To give you some background on my personal story:
Before I was born, my biological parents had a baby and named her Candy. A short time later, my biological mother got pregnant and gave birth to me and my twin brother. Shortly after we were born, Candy began to get really sick. She eventually died of a type of blood cancer before her 2nd birthday.
My mother lost it. She bolted and left my father with two twins. He had lost his job being at the hospital so much with Candy and now had to try and figure out a way to support two 1 year olds. Well, he could not. I'm not exactly sure when, but he eventually dropped us off at a children's home. From that point on, my brother and I were in the system. We moved from foster home to foster home (luckily never being separated). At the last foster home, the mother (Sandy) was really abusive. She had five foster kids and I believe was doing it for unpure motives... that's all I'll say. Anyway, there was a girl there, about 14 or so, named Lisa. She abused me. Because I was living in such a state of chaos and distrust, I told no one... not even my brother.
I was adopted (PRAISE GOD) along with my brother into a great home. My parents are great.
Fast forward to a couple of years ago. It was after I was saved. I called my biological father. His name is Dave. I also got in contact with my biological mother too... her name is Patty. It was really cool to see where all my "stuff" came from. For instance, my brother and I are EXTREMELY into music. I have danced and won many awards in my life. My brother plays the guitar, is an okay pianist, and can sing pretty well too. Well, my parents are not musically inclined at all. When I called Dave, I found out that he played in a band and sang. He was also really into history and politics (I am a social studies teacher). Anyway, it was really cool.
I had long ago forgiven Sandy and Lisa of their abuse. I had also forgiven my biological parents even before I ever called them. I just KNEW there had to be a really good reason for giving the two of us up. AND THERE WAS. My heart breaks for that part of Dave and Patty's lives.
So........ I thought I was healed.
I was wrong.
During the conference, after a long introduction to emotional scarring and trama, Kathi Oates (our speaker that night) began the exercise. She told us all to close our eyes. After we had done this, she said, "Ask the Lord to show you a wall that you have in your life." When Kathi first did this exercise, she said she saw a wall labeled MISTRUST. After she saw the wall, she was told (as we were told) to ask the Lord to remove the wall. She visually saw the wall being removed by a wind.
At this point she paused and said, "Now some of you can see nothing. If that is you, there are anger issues. You have rage issues most likely." That was me. I saw nothing. As soon as she said anger, I began to cry. Weep. Wail. Many people around me began to cry, weep, and wail. It was unlike anything I have ever experienced. She asked the Lord to minister to our anger. As soon as she said this, the entire church exploded with emotion. Our pain was being ministered to.
After Kathi saw her MISTRUST wall torn away, she saw standing behind the wall an image of herself at about 2nd grade... FAT KATHI. Kathi was asked if she loved FAT KATHI and she replied repulsed, "NO! I hate her!" When she was fat Kathi, she was teased, rediculed, and hated. But fat Kathi possessed things that she left in the past. Fat Kathi was a book worm, with a long attention span, who loved herself and life. After she asked the Lord to minister to fat Kathi, she asked fat Kathi back into her life and she says that she was healed of pain that she burried long ago.
The crazy part of this whole thing is that after the exercise was done, physical healings took place. A woman with rhumatoid arthritus was healed (I'm sorry guys, spelling). Someone else who had major back problems was healed. Another person threw his hearing aid away because he heard for the first time correctly in 20 years.
I went to this conference and the Lord uncovered all this hurt that I never knew I carried with me. My greatest fear is so cliche for foster children- fear of abandonment. I didn't even know it, but I found that I am afraid that Jesus will leave me too- the moment I do something WRONG!!! It was terrible and awful to have all this stuff uncovered. Truthfully, I feel pretty raw.
It sounds all too bizarre when I type it out. But the physical healings as a result of the emotional healings were proof enough to me that when we are tramatized, a part of our soul is severed and until we face that part and heal, we lose a part of ourselves forever. I knew that I knew the God was trying to reach to that deep hurt. Scriptures that I had been reading the weeks prior, thoughts that I had were brought up. It was crazy.
I was wondering if anyone had any comments.
[right][snapback]25819[/snapback][/right]
To give you some background on my personal story:
Before I was born, my biological parents had a baby and named her Candy. A short time later, my biological mother got pregnant and gave birth to me and my twin brother. Shortly after we were born, Candy began to get really sick. She eventually died of a type of blood cancer before her 2nd birthday.
My mother lost it. She bolted and left my father with two twins. He had lost his job being at the hospital so much with Candy and now had to try and figure out a way to support two 1 year olds. Well, he could not. I'm not exactly sure when, but he eventually dropped us off at a children's home. From that point on, my brother and I were in the system. We moved from foster home to foster home (luckily never being separated). At the last foster home, the mother (Sandy) was really abusive. She had five foster kids and I believe was doing it for unpure motives... that's all I'll say. Anyway, there was a girl there, about 14 or so, named Lisa. She abused me. Because I was living in such a state of chaos and distrust, I told no one... not even my brother.
I was adopted (PRAISE GOD) along with my brother into a great home. My parents are great.
Fast forward to a couple of years ago. It was after I was saved. I called my biological father. His name is Dave. I also got in contact with my biological mother too... her name is Patty. It was really cool to see where all my "stuff" came from. For instance, my brother and I are EXTREMELY into music. I have danced and won many awards in my life. My brother plays the guitar, is an okay pianist, and can sing pretty well too. Well, my parents are not musically inclined at all. When I called Dave, I found out that he played in a band and sang. He was also really into history and politics (I am a social studies teacher). Anyway, it was really cool.
I had long ago forgiven Sandy and Lisa of their abuse. I had also forgiven my biological parents even before I ever called them. I just KNEW there had to be a really good reason for giving the two of us up. AND THERE WAS. My heart breaks for that part of Dave and Patty's lives.
So........ I thought I was healed.
I was wrong.
During the conference, after a long introduction to emotional scarring and trama, Kathi Oates (our speaker that night) began the exercise. She told us all to close our eyes. After we had done this, she said, "Ask the Lord to show you a wall that you have in your life." When Kathi first did this exercise, she said she saw a wall labeled MISTRUST. After she saw the wall, she was told (as we were told) to ask the Lord to remove the wall. She visually saw the wall being removed by a wind.
At this point she paused and said, "Now some of you can see nothing. If that is you, there are anger issues. You have rage issues most likely." That was me. I saw nothing. As soon as she said anger, I began to cry. Weep. Wail. Many people around me began to cry, weep, and wail. It was unlike anything I have ever experienced. She asked the Lord to minister to our anger. As soon as she said this, the entire church exploded with emotion. Our pain was being ministered to.
After Kathi saw her MISTRUST wall torn away, she saw standing behind the wall an image of herself at about 2nd grade... FAT KATHI. Kathi was asked if she loved FAT KATHI and she replied repulsed, "NO! I hate her!" When she was fat Kathi, she was teased, rediculed, and hated. But fat Kathi possessed things that she left in the past. Fat Kathi was a book worm, with a long attention span, who loved herself and life. After she asked the Lord to minister to fat Kathi, she asked fat Kathi back into her life and she says that she was healed of pain that she burried long ago.
The crazy part of this whole thing is that after the exercise was done, physical healings took place. A woman with rhumatoid arthritus was healed (I'm sorry guys, spelling). Someone else who had major back problems was healed. Another person threw his hearing aid away because he heard for the first time correctly in 20 years.
I went to this conference and the Lord uncovered all this hurt that I never knew I carried with me. My greatest fear is so cliche for foster children- fear of abandonment. I didn't even know it, but I found that I am afraid that Jesus will leave me too- the moment I do something WRONG!!! It was terrible and awful to have all this stuff uncovered. Truthfully, I feel pretty raw.
It sounds all too bizarre when I type it out. But the physical healings as a result of the emotional healings were proof enough to me that when we are tramatized, a part of our soul is severed and until we face that part and heal, we lose a part of ourselves forever. I knew that I knew the God was trying to reach to that deep hurt. Scriptures that I had been reading the weeks prior, thoughts that I had were brought up. It was crazy.
I was wondering if anyone had any comments.
[right][snapback]25819[/snapback][/right]
God has to do an inner work before He can do anything else for you and through you. Everyone experiences this inner healing. I was such a basket case in my first couple of years of spiritual renewal as the Lord showed me things to get rid of. It was as painful as a raw nerve in a tooth at times. God healed me inwardly, but even being here on this forum has revealed a sensitive area in my life. I have been having a very hard time accepting criticism. Not for the sake of aknowledging my wrongs so much as for being censured by people who subscribe to the same word I do, only from a different side of the mountain. I know I am not the epitomy of the faith and stalwart warrior I figured I was. My fruit is showing here and there, and it is humbling to be in a crowd of "strangers" with your heart exposed for surgery of the highest order. I do not think I need a transplant, just a rewiring job.
One of the hardest days of my life was about 1997 in a truck in British Columbia. I was sitting at a dairyplant looking for the load home. I was in prayer and talking openly to the Lord about my heart condition. He addressed me in plain speech: "You have called yourself a whited sepulchre, all clean and white on the outside, but inside full of dead men's bones and all manner of uncleaness. This witness is true." That floored me!
I have been dealing with the scum coming off the top of the vessel for years. Once the Lord gave me this verse of scripture...
Isa 51:1 Hearken to me, ye that follow after righteousness, ye that seek the LORD: look unto the rock [whence] ye are hewn, and to the hole of the pit [whence] ye are digged.
He told me that I was crawling out of a hole and out from behind a veil of negativity which had kept me down for a lifetime. But He made provision for me every way and is to this day. Let us trust Him for the completion of the work He has begun in us. It will be a good work when completed...
1Co 4:5 Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord come, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts: and then shall every man have praise of God.
[QUOTE]It sounds all too bizarre when I type it out. [/QUOTE]
Not at all!!
Thank you both for your difficult testimonies.
Truth be known, there is not one here not in need of the Master's refining.
The hard part is often both recognizing it and admitting it. Thank you both for setting a powerful example to all of us with your openess and honesty.
I know what ya'll shared was deeply personal and difficult to discuss here but both testimonies blessed me.
[/QUOTE] Let us trust Him for the completion of the work He has begun in us. It will be a good work when completed...
[QUOTE]
Amen
Not at all!!
Thank you both for your difficult testimonies.
Truth be known, there is not one here not in need of the Master's refining.The hard part is often both recognizing it and admitting it. Thank you both for setting a powerful example to all of us with your openess and honesty.
I know what ya'll shared was deeply personal and difficult to discuss here but both testimonies blessed me.
[/QUOTE] Let us trust Him for the completion of the work He has begun in us. It will be a good work when completed...
[QUOTE]
Amen
I went through it too. Same weeping and wailing. Same raw feeling afterwards. Then slowly came the peace that settled in to stay.
If your experience is relatively new, just wait for about a month! There is this thing people try to define: peace, calm river flowing, all of that. It is not describable. It is something that lets you dip your feet into that river and splash a little. It is something that lets you be in that peace and look around at it like it is a friend or a warm blanket. Because you know it CAN'T go away and you can look at and become friends with it.
Warning, though. After that, you don't get as entrenched in things as before. You smile more for nothing because you just can't seem to get that concerned about things that go on here anymore. You feel for people and know that He is coming.
You become that alien we talked about earlier. Like a visitor. You learn but it is like learning about somewhere that is not permenant anymore.
Thanks for sharing your story. I have found that each one of us has been hurt in terrible ways. So precious, all of you.
leia
If your experience is relatively new, just wait for about a month! There is this thing people try to define: peace, calm river flowing, all of that. It is not describable. It is something that lets you dip your feet into that river and splash a little. It is something that lets you be in that peace and look around at it like it is a friend or a warm blanket. Because you know it CAN'T go away and you can look at and become friends with it.
Warning, though. After that, you don't get as entrenched in things as before. You smile more for nothing because you just can't seem to get that concerned about things that go on here anymore. You feel for people and know that He is coming.
You become that alien we talked about earlier. Like a visitor. You learn but it is like learning about somewhere that is not permenant anymore.
Thanks for sharing your story. I have found that each one of us has been hurt in terrible ways. So precious, all of you.
leia
Ok...I have to be the different one as usual...
I went through the same things you did but alone with the Holy Spirit in my prayer closet....He showed me things...Awesome things about myself. He helped me so much...His voice was like precious water...Healing the little child inside.
People laugh and make fun of that...They mock the idea but to bad..If it's good enough for Jesus it's good enough for me.
I would die and cringe at one of those kind of meetings you discribed....
But God helped me all by himself!!!! Yea!!!!
I went through the same things you did but alone with the Holy Spirit in my prayer closet....He showed me things...Awesome things about myself. He helped me so much...His voice was like precious water...Healing the little child inside.
People laugh and make fun of that...They mock the idea but to bad..If it's good enough for Jesus it's good enough for me.
I would die and cringe at one of those kind of meetings you discribed....
But God helped me all by himself!!!! Yea!!!!
I kinda understand where you are coming from Miki, not everyone is comfortable with that sort of thing in public and I am sure God knew that and took you to a quiet and private place to do what he had to do. He loves us and knows that each of us is different and ministers to us accordingly. What a great Father we have.
A few years ago I attended a church whereby, unfortunately, the Pastor would not give control over to the Holy Spirit. Just as the Spirit started ministering to people, he would cut it short and go onto his preaching or the notices!!
Well one evening, He didnt have a choice and a huge wave came into the meeting and took it by the scruff of the neck and knocked nearly everyone on the floor. He was absolutley stunned by it and just let it happen. People who were normally very reserved and quiet were wailing and crying like children before God. I have NEVER felt such a strong presence of the Holy Spirit than I did that evening. People were layed out for hours and the healing continued in all of us for a week afterwards. I am not exaggerating, but I had to take 2 days of work because I was so wiped out. I was crying for nearly a week after the event and ALOT of healing took place in that time. People were radically changed in that week.
A few years ago I attended a church whereby, unfortunately, the Pastor would not give control over to the Holy Spirit. Just as the Spirit started ministering to people, he would cut it short and go onto his preaching or the notices!!
Well one evening, He didnt have a choice and a huge wave came into the meeting and took it by the scruff of the neck and knocked nearly everyone on the floor. He was absolutley stunned by it and just let it happen. People who were normally very reserved and quiet were wailing and crying like children before God. I have NEVER felt such a strong presence of the Holy Spirit than I did that evening. People were layed out for hours and the healing continued in all of us for a week afterwards. I am not exaggerating, but I had to take 2 days of work because I was so wiped out. I was crying for nearly a week after the event and ALOT of healing took place in that time. People were radically changed in that week.
QUOTE(Miki @ Nov 28 2005, 10:37 PM)
Ok...I have to be the different one as usual...
I went through the same things you did but alone with the Holy Spirit in my prayer closet....He showed me things...Awesome things about myself. He helped me so much...His voice was like precious water...Healing the little child inside.
People laugh and make fun of that...They mock the idea but to bad..If it's good enough for Jesus it's good enough for me.
I would die and cringe at one of those kind of meetings you discribed....
But God helped me all by himself!!!! Yea!!!!
[right][snapback]25889[/snapback][/right]
I went through the same things you did but alone with the Holy Spirit in my prayer closet....He showed me things...Awesome things about myself. He helped me so much...His voice was like precious water...Healing the little child inside.
People laugh and make fun of that...They mock the idea but to bad..If it's good enough for Jesus it's good enough for me.
I would die and cringe at one of those kind of meetings you discribed....
But God helped me all by himself!!!! Yea!!!!
[right][snapback]25889[/snapback][/right]
Miki, dearest, I did not say I was "with" anyone but the Lord. You are not so odd. I wouldn't go to one either. I went and learned and prayed there and afterwards, walking and talking out loud through fields and pastures, but I could not and would not speak out loud to other people either. I know that you know it is not a fear of what others think of you. It is, kind of like something you want to keep between you and the Lord so that the bond between you is stronger. Some people do things differently.
I could not have learned without the initial fellowship, but I could not have undergone the laying on of hands and speaking in tongues over me. it just seemed too....wrapped up in myself to do that and be "the center of attention" in public.
People are not all the same. Different, but not odd dear Miki.
leia
QUOTE(Miki @ Nov 29 2005, 06:37 AM)
Ok...I have to be the different one as usual...
I went through the same things you did but alone with the Holy Spirit in my prayer closet....He showed me things...Awesome things about myself. He helped me so much...His voice was like precious water...Healing the little child inside.
People laugh and make fun of that...They mock the idea but to bad..If it's good enough for Jesus it's good enough for me.
I would die and cringe at one of those kind of meetings you discribed....
But God helped me all by himself!!!! Yea!!!!
[right][snapback]25889[/snapback][/right]
I went through the same things you did but alone with the Holy Spirit in my prayer closet....He showed me things...Awesome things about myself. He helped me so much...His voice was like precious water...Healing the little child inside.
People laugh and make fun of that...They mock the idea but to bad..If it's good enough for Jesus it's good enough for me.
I would die and cringe at one of those kind of meetings you discribed....
But God helped me all by himself!!!! Yea!!!!
[right][snapback]25889[/snapback][/right]
Thanks Leia, your testimony I can say amen to.Only this year after 28 years of serving Him, did something great happen like that in my life. Miki, like you, mine was private.Well almost
I was sitting eating in a restaurant by myself and suddenly my world fell apart, or so I thought. I has to get out, and this carried on all the way home and into the night. After that, I saw that something died in me. The old man sort of gave up. A deep healing moved in and have stayed. It started 3 years ago and slowly God worked with me until that night. I now feel free.I am in the river Leia.
I try to tell people how to move into the rest of God and they all say yes we know, but I somehow think they are not hearing me.I know its a process. It takes time and prayer and you have to want to die to self and life for Him.
This hopefully will carry on,( the restoration, I mean.)
I have seen God do it in public and in private. Its ultimately up to Him where and how.
love
Cornelius
QUOTE(Cornelius @ Nov 29 2005, 05:36 AM)
QUOTE(Miki @ Nov 29 2005, 06:37 AM)
Ok...I have to be the different one as usual...
I went through the same things you did but alone with the Holy Spirit in my prayer closet....He showed me things...Awesome things about myself. He helped me so much...His voice was like precious water...Healing the little child inside.
People laugh and make fun of that...They mock the idea but to bad..If it's good enough for Jesus it's good enough for me.
I would die and cringe at one of those kind of meetings you discribed....
But God helped me all by himself!!!! Yea!!!!
[right][snapback]25889[/snapback][/right]
I went through the same things you did but alone with the Holy Spirit in my prayer closet....He showed me things...Awesome things about myself. He helped me so much...His voice was like precious water...Healing the little child inside.
People laugh and make fun of that...They mock the idea but to bad..If it's good enough for Jesus it's good enough for me.
I would die and cringe at one of those kind of meetings you discribed....
But God helped me all by himself!!!! Yea!!!!
[right][snapback]25889[/snapback][/right]
Thanks Leia, your testimony I can say amen to.Only this year after 28 years of serving Him, did something great happen like that in my life. Miki, like you, mine was private.Well almost
I was sitting eating in a restaurant by myself and suddenly my world fell apart, or so I thought. I has to get out, and this carried on all the way home and into the night. After that, I saw that something died in me. The old man sort of gave up. A deep healing moved in and have stayed. It started 3 years ago and slowly God worked with me until that night. I now feel free.I am in the river Leia.
I try to tell people how to move into the rest of God and they all say yes we know, but I somehow think they are not hearing me.I know its a process. It takes time and prayer and you have to want to die to self and life for Him.
This hopefully will carry on,( the restoration, I mean.)
I have seen God do it in public and in private. Its ultimately up to Him where and how.
love
Cornelius
[right][snapback]25907[/snapback][/right]
It happen to me also. I was watching the Passion of the Christ when all of a sudden I could not stop crying. I felf like I died and a new me started after that. I remember asking God with in a week to show me my faults and within 24 hours I could see all of my faults. It was so bad I had to ask God to stop. I could see what I needed to change with in myself. I am a new person in Christ now. The gifts just kept getting stronger.
I now know what it means to die to self and be a new person in Christ.
KIm
QUOTE(Cherrychookie @ Nov 29 2005, 08:38 AM)
I kinda understand where you are coming from Miki, not everyone is comfortable with that sort of thing in public and I am sure God knew that and took you to a quiet and private place to do what he had to do. He loves us and knows that each of us is different and ministers to us accordingly. What a great Father we have.
[right][snapback]25899[/snapback][/right]
[right][snapback]25899[/snapback][/right]
This is kind of funny Cherry...When l started to read your post as above...here's what l read
"I kinda understand where you are coming from Miki, not everyone is comfortable with that sort of thing in public and I am sure God knew that and took you to a quiet and private dance to do what he had to do. He loves us and knows that each of us is different and ministers to us accordingly. What a great Father we have".
I thought...What a neat way to say it
but when l went back to read it again it didn't say that... 
WAS GOD SPEAKING! One of our private little signs and wonders right here on the forum
We need a little 'PTL hand' that goes up when you click on it...start looking Marta...These words came to mind:
I could have danced all night
I could have danced all night
And still have begged for more
I could have spread my wings
And done a thousand things
I'd never done before
I'll never know what made it so exciting
When all at once my heart took flight
I only know when he began to dance with me
I could have danced, danced, danced..all night
And l was again reminded to return to your first love....just a me thing...
That intimacy with the Lord does bring a lot of weeping....
For that we stay away because it unwinds us...
How can you be with the Lord like that and then go to work or the grocery store of make small talk with your neighbor...
There's another side God showed me concerning this dilemma...
The fine line between laughter and tears...just slip over...into joy and allow yourself to laugh!!!
I was watching one of those Holy Ghost laughter things on TV....You know...the thing the enemy was allowed to enter into and ruin for so many and make a stupid fool of the Church...Ya that thing...
Well anyway...I was watching these people laugh on TBN...And it just hit me!!!
(I was alone in my front room) I started to laugh..
Oh boy...I couldn't stop...
and Paul Crouch who is rather reserved about this kind of stuff was laughing and nobody could talk or do anything for about a half an hour...
You know.... from that time on God started to restore my joy....It was OK to laugh!
Even if my life was a hell hole
I could laugh again...Not for anything in this life...but for the pure joy of the Lord...Now l laugh all the time Marta...People might think l'm a dizzy blond
To bad...I know how to laugh again and l'm not going to pretend l'm not happy.I've seen a couple of people look at me (they know some of my life) like, 'Oh poor Miki...She's just got to learn how to take off that mask'...
Then they're off busy with their lives...putting together potlucks and new programs...sorry..snide is slipping in. Don't ya just hate that guy!
Just when you finish a good testimony somebody else starts wagging your tongue and you realize he's been lurking around and the Lords got more work to do with you.
Oh well Marta...we'll get there eventually.
I'm not singling you out..just having fun...
Everyone has their hurts. What an awesome testimony from all.
My husband and I where talking about this the other night. I realized there was something I never dealt with...a hurt burried deep within. I was holding it in...something too private to tell and yet the one whom did it to me has never forgiven himself or even recognised that it happened. This is what hurts so bad, cause I have forgiven him and yet he is in such guilt that he won't acknowledge that it happened or forgive himself. I never got I am sorry, never got a hug or a kiss from him, but it never stopped me from loving him.
He wears his mask well...Ok I guess you all know what it is, my oldest brother rapped me and my other brother watched for a while but then broke it up.
Neither have ever recognised it or acknowledged it happened. It has definetly hurt their lives. To not forgive themsleves or confess and repent.
I want them to go to councelling with me...as I never even told anyone till I told my mom an couple years ago. They can't continue to hold this in and acknowledge it..RIGHT?
I have repented, I am saved, I love Jesus...he is moving mountains...I am thankful and JOYFUL...There is no other JOY that is so wonderful to come to the feet of our precious Savior Jesus Christ. Beleive me the old me is dying too, and it's wonderful to share here on this site and have fellowship with all of you.
God BLESS you all so much.
Especially you Larry. The HOLY GHOST that worked through you on your posts had me Awestruck. You are a great servant of the LORD JESUS.
Don't you think I should confront my brothers?
My husband and I where talking about this the other night. I realized there was something I never dealt with...a hurt burried deep within. I was holding it in...something too private to tell and yet the one whom did it to me has never forgiven himself or even recognised that it happened. This is what hurts so bad, cause I have forgiven him and yet he is in such guilt that he won't acknowledge that it happened or forgive himself. I never got I am sorry, never got a hug or a kiss from him, but it never stopped me from loving him.
He wears his mask well...Ok I guess you all know what it is, my oldest brother rapped me and my other brother watched for a while but then broke it up.
Neither have ever recognised it or acknowledged it happened. It has definetly hurt their lives. To not forgive themsleves or confess and repent.
I want them to go to councelling with me...as I never even told anyone till I told my mom an couple years ago. They can't continue to hold this in and acknowledge it..RIGHT?
I have repented, I am saved, I love Jesus...he is moving mountains...I am thankful and JOYFUL...There is no other JOY that is so wonderful to come to the feet of our precious Savior Jesus Christ. Beleive me the old me is dying too, and it's wonderful to share here on this site and have fellowship with all of you.
God BLESS you all so much.
Especially you Larry. The HOLY GHOST that worked through you on your posts had me Awestruck. You are a great servant of the LORD JESUS.
Don't you think I should confront my brothers?
Michael W. Smith (Hang on)
Let the tempest and the flood
Shake your soul and spill your blood
Like an old song
Keep hold'n on
Let the people laugh at you
Call you names and say you're through
Never let go
Keep hangin' on
Hang on, hang on
Can you hear me,
I'm gonna say it again
Hang on, hang on
Never giving up, no, never giving in
Hang on every hopeful word
Even when it seems absurd
Keep holdin' on
If you triumph when you fail
Keep your head when you prevail
Be a hero
Keep hangin' around
Hang on, hang on
Are you listening,
Let me say it again
Hang on, hang on
Never giving up, no,
Never giving in
beautiful Miki...so let go and let God...but the pain they are in is so sad.
I gotta talk to them...I have witnessed to them about Jesus...and they still want to hold onto pain. I don't want to live in pain anymore...I have Faith but sad too, for why waste in pain and not release it to God. I have many times and yet still nagging at the back of my mind my brothers in Pain.
Reminds me of that song: Brothers in Arms....they fight for freedom...but the real freedom is living for Jesus.
I gotta talk to them...I have witnessed to them about Jesus...and they still want to hold onto pain. I don't want to live in pain anymore...I have Faith but sad too, for why waste in pain and not release it to God. I have many times and yet still nagging at the back of my mind my brothers in Pain.
Reminds me of that song: Brothers in Arms....they fight for freedom...but the real freedom is living for Jesus.
In reading replies, I have been sent to these scriptures...
Luk 4:18 The Spirit of the Lord [is] upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, Luk 4:19 To preach the acceptable year of the Lord.
Heb 10:24 And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Heb 10:25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some [is]; but exhorting [one another]: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
We are His ambassadors through whom He will do many mighty works. We need to move over into an arena of where our stuff takes a backseat to His stuff and as we minister light and love to others through Him, our stuff will fall as excess baggage by the wayside of that old dirt road of desperation and despair.
I love the way this thread has turned out to be a heart opening extravaganza of love and trust, firstly of He who is able, and secondly to the love of the brethren who are to be found within this word:
Rev 12:10 And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night. Rev 12:11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.
The first words of verse 12 fly up and hit me in the face....
Rev 12:12 Therefore rejoice, [ye] heavens, and ye that dwell in them.
Luk 4:18 The Spirit of the Lord [is] upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, Luk 4:19 To preach the acceptable year of the Lord.
Heb 10:24 And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Heb 10:25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some [is]; but exhorting [one another]: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
We are His ambassadors through whom He will do many mighty works. We need to move over into an arena of where our stuff takes a backseat to His stuff and as we minister light and love to others through Him, our stuff will fall as excess baggage by the wayside of that old dirt road of desperation and despair.
I love the way this thread has turned out to be a heart opening extravaganza of love and trust, firstly of He who is able, and secondly to the love of the brethren who are to be found within this word:
Rev 12:10 And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night. Rev 12:11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.
The first words of verse 12 fly up and hit me in the face....
Rev 12:12 Therefore rejoice, [ye] heavens, and ye that dwell in them.
There is accountability...Like we talked about in the Tel Aviv post...But as Christians we aren't trying to get even...that's God's job (I'm speaking generally here Linda)
We talked in another post about finding your voice...There is more than just physical rape...There's a rape to the soul that pushes against the dam of our our emotions...like a window breaking from the inside out...looking on so sad..a little broken house..
The confrontation has to be...expose....has to be.... done...
in a Godly firm way...At first it's a storm...then it's a healing rain...
Then You... We...let it go....
We talked in another post about finding your voice...There is more than just physical rape...There's a rape to the soul that pushes against the dam of our our emotions...like a window breaking from the inside out...looking on so sad..a little broken house..
The confrontation has to be...expose....has to be.... done...
in a Godly firm way...At first it's a storm...then it's a healing rain...
Then You... We...let it go....
I am so sorry if I transferred my emotions on you all here. The real attack was inside me of things I haven't dealt with. Please accept my apoligies.
I knew none wished me ill...I love you all in Christ Jesus.
Your right Miki, I know how the HOLY SPIRIT gives us a peacefulness that surpasseth all understanding...and I know how to witness without getting all bent out of shape. I'll try to witness to them when I can...in a gentle spirit and not a hurtful one cause of frustration. Been there, and no it doens't work. But I will wait on the LORD JESUS...like he clearly says to..and his words will speak through me, if I am humble and meek enough to receive and give without anger.
GOD BLESS YOU ALLnow I'm crying like a baby...for I am so sorry to hurt anyone...Larry you now understand
The PRAYER OF JABEZ? I LOVE YOU
I knew none wished me ill...I love you all in Christ Jesus.
Your right Miki, I know how the HOLY SPIRIT gives us a peacefulness that surpasseth all understanding...and I know how to witness without getting all bent out of shape. I'll try to witness to them when I can...in a gentle spirit and not a hurtful one cause of frustration. Been there, and no it doens't work. But I will wait on the LORD JESUS...like he clearly says to..and his words will speak through me, if I am humble and meek enough to receive and give without anger.
GOD BLESS YOU ALLnow I'm crying like a baby...for I am so sorry to hurt anyone...Larry you now understand
The PRAYER OF JABEZ? I LOVE YOU
((((((((Big hugz))))))))
QUOTE(wernotalone @ Nov 29 2005, 04:42 PM)
I am so sorry if I transferred my emotions on you all here. The real attack was inside me of things I haven't dealt with. Please accept my apoligies.
I knew none wished me ill...I love you all in Christ Jesus.
Your right Miki, I know how the HOLY SPIRIT gives us a peacefulness that surpasseth all understanding...and I know how to witness without getting all bent out of shape. I'll try to witness to them when I can...in a gentle spirit and not a hurtful one cause of frustration. Been there, and no it doens't work. But I will wait on the LORD JESUS...like he clearly says to..and his words will speak through me, if I am humble and meek enough to receive and give without anger.
GOD BLESS YOU ALLnow I'm crying like a baby...for I am so sorry to hurt anyone...Larry you now understand
The PRAYER OF JABEZ? I LOVE YOU
[right][snapback]25931[/snapback][/right]
I knew none wished me ill...I love you all in Christ Jesus.
Your right Miki, I know how the HOLY SPIRIT gives us a peacefulness that surpasseth all understanding...and I know how to witness without getting all bent out of shape. I'll try to witness to them when I can...in a gentle spirit and not a hurtful one cause of frustration. Been there, and no it doens't work. But I will wait on the LORD JESUS...like he clearly says to..and his words will speak through me, if I am humble and meek enough to receive and give without anger.
GOD BLESS YOU ALLnow I'm crying like a baby...for I am so sorry to hurt anyone...Larry you now understand
The PRAYER OF JABEZ? I LOVE YOU
[right][snapback]25931[/snapback][/right]
My dear sister in the Lord, you hurt nobody. You are safe here to share with us ,you can expect only love from your online family.
As a man I wish I could just ask you for forgiveness, for what was done to you by your brothers. If you cannot go to them , I will stand in proxy for them.Can one do this? If one can, then I will.
Thank you for trusting us to share this hurtful thing in your life. I truly wish we could all just put our arms around you and tell you we love you.
your brother
Cornelius
There are words that just can't express how thankful I am to be in your presence.
BIG HUGS FROM ME TO YOU
BIG HUGS FROM ME TO YOU
Hey guys... just want to add....
I went to this conference having NO INTENTION to face past issues. I actually went because Gary Oates was one of the main guests. He had written a book about seeing in the spirit realm, and I was anxious to hear him talk in person.
I am not the type to wallow on the floor in public either. Oh my. I grew up and still go to a VERY conservative Christian Church where even a "Hallalujah" in the middle of the sermon is a bit on the wild side.
Everyone who knows me knows me as smiling.
But God's plans are not man's.
I knew no one around me- so that really helped me talk to God without feeling the pressure of "onlookers". Plus, the Spirit in the room was really something. It was nuts.
Larry, thank you so much for those words. They really spoke to my heart- MORE THAN YOU KNOW.
I went to this conference having NO INTENTION to face past issues. I actually went because Gary Oates was one of the main guests. He had written a book about seeing in the spirit realm, and I was anxious to hear him talk in person.
I am not the type to wallow on the floor in public either. Oh my. I grew up and still go to a VERY conservative Christian Church where even a "Hallalujah" in the middle of the sermon is a bit on the wild side.
Everyone who knows me knows me as smiling.
But God's plans are not man's.
I knew no one around me- so that really helped me talk to God without feeling the pressure of "onlookers". Plus, the Spirit in the room was really something. It was nuts.
Larry, thank you so much for those words. They really spoke to my heart- MORE THAN YOU KNOW.
QUOTE(jhamner @ Nov 29 2005, 02:49 PM)
Hey guys... just want to add....
I went to this conference having NO INTENTION to face past issues. [right][snapback]26020[/snapback][/right]
I went to this conference having NO INTENTION to face past issues. [right][snapback]26020[/snapback][/right]
Sometimes our issues face us
Sounds like a God ordained appointment for you
Yes Mazinaw, yes.
It seems when I worry my head about something... God usually has a different agenda in mind. Lord, I pray, Your will, not mine.
It seems when I worry my head about something... God usually has a different agenda in mind. Lord, I pray, Your will, not mine.
QUOTE(jhamner @ Nov 29 2005, 02:59 PM)
Yes Mazinaw, yes.
It seems when I worry my head about something... God usually has a different agenda in mind. Lord, I pray, Your will, not mine.
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It seems when I worry my head about something... God usually has a different agenda in mind. Lord, I pray, Your will, not mine.
[right][snapback]26023[/snapback][/right]
I have been through some stuff that way too, beyond what I said earlier in the second post. I was at a Rodney Howard Browne crusade for a whole week in about 1998 here in my burg. He laid hands on 2200 people in a big grassy area behind the church on the last day. He had fire in his fingers during the week, but when he came to me in that grande parade of souls, he touched me and said a word or two and moved on. I did not stagger or fall back or anything. But two or three hours later I was in my car driving over to my sister's place for supper when the power of God came down on me so strong I could not stand it. I had to pull off the street and I began to wail like nothing before. That lasted a good while, and the after effects went on for hours. I was feeling totally dematerialized. I had no substance. My bones were like water. My eyes were rivers. But then it finally passed and I sat up and went on to the visit I had planned. I never knew what the Lord did that day. But it healed me somehow from something and it was like having a whole new spirit placed within me. I love the Lord, but he does not share even this with me in a cionscious way. I just know what ever it was was good.
Maz
QUOTE
"You have called yourself a whited sepulchre, all clean and white on the outside, but inside full of dead men's bones and all manner of uncleaness. This witness is true." That floored me!
I have been dealing with the scum coming off the top of the vessel for years. Once the Lord gave me this verse of scripture...
Isa 51:1 Hearken to me, ye that follow after righteousness, ye that seek the LORD: look unto the rock [whence] ye are hewn, and to the hole of the pit [whence] ye are digged.
He told me that I was crawling out of a hole and out from behind a veil of negativity which had kept me down for a lifetime. But He made provision for me every way and is to this day. Let us trust Him for the completion of the work He has begun in us. It will be a good work when completed...
I have been dealing with the scum coming off the top of the vessel for years. Once the Lord gave me this verse of scripture...
Isa 51:1 Hearken to me, ye that follow after righteousness, ye that seek the LORD: look unto the rock [whence] ye are hewn, and to the hole of the pit [whence] ye are digged.
He told me that I was crawling out of a hole and out from behind a veil of negativity which had kept me down for a lifetime. But He made provision for me every way and is to this day. Let us trust Him for the completion of the work He has begun in us. It will be a good work when completed...
This speaks to me Larry... as I elluded to before.
I thought that because I was saved and doing right, then I was clean. I thought wrong.
I also thought that once I was saved, I got a perfect soul. That Jesus came in and made everything perfect. I think this view is wrong too.
God told me in this conference this VERY thing... that I was all white and pretty on the outside, but all yucked up on the inside. As much as I tried to "do right" without Jesus coming into the deep dark areas and bringing them into the light, I would still have "trigger" areas that would bring out the worst in me and make me unable to serve most effectively in the kingdom. Because of my fear of rejection, for example, I don't like to be disliked by anyone. I want EVERYONE to like me (which of course is impossible) and have spent my entire life trying to gain acceptance by being smiley, kind, and never sticking up for myself when necessary. How then, can I really be of use in the kingdom (especially in the prophetic- I feel I have at least a part of me has been called to the prophetic) when I fear what people think?
I praise God for every touch from God. Jesus KNOWS what He is doing. I try not to question His methods (
). I sincerely wish, however, that I knew where this is all going. I just wish sometimes God would show up with a list of steps and I'd just do them. 
QUOTE
Just when you finish a good testimony somebody else starts wagging your tongue and you realize he's been lurking around and the Lords got more work to do with you.
Oh well Marta...we'll get there eventually. I'm not singling you out..just having fun...
Oh well Marta...we'll get there eventually. I'm not singling you out..just having fun...
Miki....no hard feelings.
Nothin but love for ya. Btw.......LovingHim (Karen) and I have been looking for more smilies and stuff to use. But we will need Gr82BSaved (Todd's) help on how to add those onto the forum. I agree. I think we should have a barfing smiley too......I'll save those for your posts only Miki! (only kidding!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wanted to tell Chookie how powerful this post was to me! I thought 'WOW'!! I couldn't imagine and wish I would have been there:
From CherryChookie:
QUOTE
A few years ago I attended a church whereby, unfortunately, the Pastor would not give control over to the Holy Spirit. Just as the Spirit started ministering to people, he would cut it short and go onto his preaching or the notices!!
Well one evening, He didnt have a choice and a huge wave came into the meeting and took it by the scruff of the neck and knocked nearly everyone on the floor. He was absolutley stunned by it and just let it happen. People who were normally very reserved and quiet were wailing and crying like children before God. I have NEVER felt such a strong presence of the Holy Spirit than I did that evening. People were layed out for hours and the healing continued in all of us for a week afterwards. I am not exaggerating, but I had to take 2 days of work because I was so wiped out. I was crying for nearly a week after the event and ALOT of healing took place in that time. People were radically changed in that week.
Well one evening, He didnt have a choice and a huge wave came into the meeting and took it by the scruff of the neck and knocked nearly everyone on the floor. He was absolutley stunned by it and just let it happen. People who were normally very reserved and quiet were wailing and crying like children before God. I have NEVER felt such a strong presence of the Holy Spirit than I did that evening. People were layed out for hours and the healing continued in all of us for a week afterwards. I am not exaggerating, but I had to take 2 days of work because I was so wiped out. I was crying for nearly a week after the event and ALOT of healing took place in that time. People were radically changed in that week.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So this thread is about emotional healing....we'll I sure need it. After experiencing the loss of my grandfather, it is not only the sadness that you feel for him but your other family members. My grandmother was with him for 64 years and never left his side, but it is hard for me to look at her because I see the emotions of emptiness pouring out of her eyes. It makes me cry very easily because I feel her hurt...same with the other family members. It is incredible how emotionally drained you feel with a loss of a family member. You walk around in a fog and an intense sadness engulfing your entire being. I haven't experienced loss like this for a while. Emotional healing? Days going by...passing...slowly..one day at a time is part of the whole grieving process.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sorry JHam...didn't mean to overshadow your post:
QUOTE(jhamner @ Nov 29 2005, 04:52 PM)
QUOTE
"You have called yourself a whited sepulchre, all clean and white on the outside, but inside full of dead men's bones and all manner of uncleaness. This witness is true." That floored me!
I have been dealing with the scum coming off the top of the vessel for years. Once the Lord gave me this verse of scripture...
Isa 51:1 Hearken to me, ye that follow after righteousness, ye that seek the LORD: look unto the rock [whence] ye are hewn, and to the hole of the pit [whence] ye are digged.
He told me that I was crawling out of a hole and out from behind a veil of negativity which had kept me down for a lifetime. But He made provision for me every way and is to this day. Let us trust Him for the completion of the work He has begun in us. It will be a good work when completed...
I have been dealing with the scum coming off the top of the vessel for years. Once the Lord gave me this verse of scripture...
Isa 51:1 Hearken to me, ye that follow after righteousness, ye that seek the LORD: look unto the rock [whence] ye are hewn, and to the hole of the pit [whence] ye are digged.
He told me that I was crawling out of a hole and out from behind a veil of negativity which had kept me down for a lifetime. But He made provision for me every way and is to this day. Let us trust Him for the completion of the work He has begun in us. It will be a good work when completed...
This speaks to me Larry... as I elluded to before.
I thought that because I was saved and doing right, then I was clean. I thought wrong.
I also thought that once I was saved, I got a perfect soul. That Jesus came in and made everything perfect. I think this view is wrong too.
God told me in this conference this VERY thing... that I was all white and pretty on the outside, but all yucked up on the inside. As much as I tried to "do right" without Jesus coming into the deep dark areas and bringing them into the light, I would still have "trigger" areas that would bring out the worst in me and make me unable to serve most effectively in the kingdom. Because of my fear of rejection, for example, I don't like to be disliked by anyone. I want EVERYONE to like me (which of course is impossible) and have spent my entire life trying to gain acceptance by being smiley, kind, and never sticking up for myself when necessary. How then, can I really be of use in the kingdom (especially in the prophetic- I feel I have at least a part of me has been called to the prophetic) when I fear what people think?
I praise God for every touch from God. Jesus KNOWS what He is doing. I try not to question His methods (
). I sincerely wish, however, that I knew where this is all going. I just wish sometimes God would show up with a list of steps and I'd just do them. [right][snapback]26033[/snapback][/right]
QUOTE(Marta @ Nov 29 2005, 04:15 PM)
So this thread is about emotional healing....we'll I sure need it. After experiencing the loss of my grandfather, it is not only the sadness that you feel for him but your other family members. My grandmother was with him for 64 years and never left his side, but it is hard for me to look at her because I see the emotions of emptiness pouring out of her eyes. It makes me cry very easily because I feel her hurt...same with the other family members. It is incredible how emotionally drained you feel with a loss of a family member. You walk around in a fog and an intense sadness engulfing your entire being. I haven't experienced loss like this for a while. Emotional healing? Days going by...passing...slowly..one day at a time is part of the whole grieving process.
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[right][snapback]26035[/snapback][/right]
The Holy Spirit is in this paragraph of words. I was led to great travail in reading it.
I pray God be kind to you in this time of loss and need and that you will step out into the Sonshine soon.
Larry...When you had the Spirit come on you in the car like that and had to pull over and you began to weep....why? do you think that is (was)?
I've had it happen several times...not because somebody laid hands on me but because l had been seeking God in an intense way. What l feel like God showed me finally after the last most recent event was:
This is the grief of the Holy Spirit..................
In that context l looked at it in a different way...
If the Holy Spirit was grieving the big question becomes WHY!?
Was the Spirit grieving because he felt sorry for me because of pasts hurts and l needed to cry and sort of get them all out?.... I Don't think so.... Love me, Yes but l don't think it's why. I think it's for another reason...
As hard as it is to say l believe l was grieving the Spirit in the context it talks about in the Bible...It then turns from touchy feely to...
I found the below and think it's more than appropriate...And to me it's scary...but also tender...I like tender because God is tender. I don't want to make God cry like that do you?
The first time he revealed his love for me was back in about 91..
He came into the room when l was praying and he was hurting worse for me than any parent over their child...I just couldn't believe he really felt like that about me....How could he feel that way individually for each person...? We think we're just another name on a list...
until he Loves us.
Then everything we do becomes important...
Oh how l forget...
http://zbh.com/sermons/grieving.htm
GRIEVING THE SPIRIT
Eph 4:30, And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
Let's look at some of the things that grieve God.
WICKEDNESS
Gen 6:5-8, Then the LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. {6} And the LORD was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart. {7} And the LORD said, "I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the land, from man to animals to creeping things and to birds of the sky; for I am sorry that I have made them." {8} But Noah found favor in the eyes of the LORD.
FORGETTING GOD AND DISBELIEF
Psa 78:11, And they forgot His deeds, And His miracles that He had shown them.
Psa 78:22, Because they did not believe in God, And did not trust in His salvation.
Psa 78:32, In spite of all this they still sinned, And did not believe in His wonderful works.
REBELLION
Psa 78:40-42, How often they rebelled against Him in the wilderness, And grieved Him in the desert! {41} And again and again they tempted God, And pained the Holy One of Israel. {42} They did not remember His power, The day when He redeemed them from the adversary,
Isa 63:9-10, In all their affliction He was afflicted, And the angel of His presence saved them; In His love and in His mercy He redeemed them; And He lifted them and carried them all the days of old. {10} But they rebelled And grieved His Holy Spirit; Therefore, He turned Himself to become their enemy, He fought against them.
GRUMBLING
1 Cor 10:1-13, For I do not want you to be unaware, brethren, that our fathers were all under the cloud, and all passed through the sea; {2} and all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea; {3} and all ate the same spiritual food; {4} and all drank the same spiritual drink, for they were drinking from a spiritual rock which followed them; and the rock was Christ. {5} Nevertheless, with most of them God was not well-pleased; for they were laid low in the wilderness. {6} Now these things happened as examples for us, that we should not crave evil things, as they also craved. {7} And do not be idolaters as some of them were; as it is written, "THE PEOPLE SAT DOWN TO EAT AND DRINK, AND STOOD UP TO PLAY." {8} Nor let us act immorally, as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in one day. {9} Nor let us try the Lord, as some of them did, and were destroyed by the serpents. {10} Nor grumble, as some of them did, and were destroyed by the destroyer. {11} Now these things happened to them as an example, and they were written for our instruction, upon whom the ends of the ages have come. {12} Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. {13} No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it.
There was a grumbler who couldn't find anything about which to give thanks or praise. Although financially he was a very successful farmer, because of a very sour attitude, no one enjoyed his company. Nothing seemed to please him. His pastor tried to help brighten the outlook, all to no avail. At the time of the potato harvest, the disgruntled farmer enjoyed a bumper crop. Wanting to strike a more cheerful note, the minister suggested, "Brother I understand you've had a tremendous season with potatoes this year. That certainly must be cause for rejoicing!" The chronic complainer never even smiled, but sourly responded, "Yes, it's true. The harvest was good enough. But my problem is, I don't have any bad potatoes to feed my pigs."
That reminds me. Have you ever heard anyone complaining because their freezer was too full and they had no place to put anything? Or their closet? A thankful heart is not only a virtue, but the parent of all other virtues.
New Testament Grieving
Grieving the Spirit also includes our response to one another in the Body of Christ. Paul explains this as he illustrates how we can keep from grieving the Spirit.
Eph 4:29-32, Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear. {30} And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. {31} Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. {32} And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
One of the main goals of the Holy Spirit is to achieve the unity of the Spirit in the Church. Things that work against that Grieve Him. He works to help the members of the Church maintain right relationships with one another and use their gifts to serve others.
Eph 4:12-13, for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; {13} until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ.
GRIEVED WITH SUFFERING REQUIRED
Mark 14:32-36, And they came to a place named Gethsemane; and He said to His disciples, "Sit here until I have prayed." {33} And He took with Him Peter and James and John, and began to be very distressed and troubled. {34} And He said to them, "My soul is deeply grieved to the point of death; remain here and keep watch." {35} And He went a little beyond them, and fell to the ground, and began to pray that if it were possible, the hour might pass Him by. {36} And He was saying, "Abba! Father! All things are possible for Thee; remove this cup from Me; yet not what I will, but what Thou wilt."
HARDNESS OF HEART
Mark 3:4-5, And He said to them, "Is it lawful on the Sabbath to do good or to do harm, to save a life or to kill?" But they kept silent. {5} And after looking around at them with anger, grieved at their hardness of heart, He said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." And he stretched it out, and his hand was restored.
Over 1,000,000 acres that once held oxygen producing trees are paved over every year. Oxygen is the source of life for man. In paving our tree-producing soil, we are cutting one source of life-sustaining oxygen.
How like the person that hardens his feelings against God's leadership in one area of his life at a time. He is ultimately hardened against God's will and is lifeless. The Scripture says:
Rom 2:5, "But because of your stubbornness and unrepentant heart you are storing up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God,"
SELF-EFFORT ALONE
Gal 3:3, Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?
A person down south years ago, wanted to join a church. So the deacons were examining him. They asked, "How did you get saved?" His answer was, "God did His part, and I did my part." They thought there was something wrong with his doctrine, so they questioned further, "What was God's part, and what was your part?" His explanation was a good one. He said, "God's part was the saving, and my part was the sinning. I done run from Him as fast as my sinful heart and rebellious legs could take me. He done took out after me till He run me down."
My friend, that is the way I got saved also.
RESISTANCE TO THE SPIRIT
1 Th 5:19-20, Do not quench the Spirit; {20} do not despise prophetic utterances.
LEGALISM
Mat 15:6,... And thus you invalidated the word of God for the sake of your tradition.
2 Cor 3:6, who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant, not of the letter, but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.
Believers who are motivated by legalism are always anxious to know what is expected of them. They want to do only what is necessary to make themselves look respectable. They crave specific rules so they can know precisely how to behave. They plod along hoping that someday their efforts will pay off.
According to the New Testament such people are legalists; they are using the law to establish their righteousness. Christ's answer to legalism is that external obedience to the moral law must be coupled with a corresponding inner attitude of love and honesty. Christ's teaching was not intended to abrogate obedience to the moral law, but to add to its intended spirit.
Consequences of Grieving the Spirit
Isa 63:10, But they rebelled And grieved His Holy Spirit; Therefore, He turned Himself to become their enemy, He fought against them.
The Holy Spirit will not leave us, but if we grieve Him, He man temporarily withdraw His fellowship and power. The Holy Spirit never forces Himself upon us. At times, we may wish He was more insistent, that He'd whack us on the hand and shout, "Don't do that .. it makes Me REALLY mad." Instead, He quietly, gently, convicts us of sin and leaves us to choose:
Will I please Him? Or grieve Him?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So when we think we've had this singling out experience by God and we don't get it...well....it becomes a circus side show event.
People flocking to have a spiritual thrill. And really...to prove him to themselves.
Not that either of you received it that way...I believe his presence was there but why...
One of you said something about "trigger points" Even in my posts above...
as l related (potluck) is a trigger point for me...It stirs things up in me...
When you are hurting and everybody wants a creepy potluck...well..it's a trigger point....But God showed me how to deal with it.
First..I hardly ever go, but
second..God had me take my focus off me...
third...he had me use it as an opportunity...to meet and minister to people...
Any fruit? Who knows but it's a good way to make use of a situation l find exceedingly uncomfortable...
But the trigger point is resentment..I resented them because they were having fun while l was hurting and in study you could never get into your problems because you'd be accused of getting the group off track? Sound familiar anybody?
Lots of hurting people disdain the church because of this..So what is the solution?
We can't turn our studies into counseling sessions (and who wants the blind leading the blind anyway)
We have to teach hurting people to seek God themselves. Larry like what you said in one your words about how God wants to equip people to touch God themselves. To free up the Pastors into their calling so they don't have to be weighted down with everybody's burden.
That's teaching them to walk!
If they only quote scripture then they become that tomb you were talking about. And all that cruddy other stuff like banquets and such.
Lord help us to understand your promptings...l pray...
I've had it happen several times...not because somebody laid hands on me but because l had been seeking God in an intense way. What l feel like God showed me finally after the last most recent event was:
This is the grief of the Holy Spirit..................
In that context l looked at it in a different way...
If the Holy Spirit was grieving the big question becomes WHY!?
Was the Spirit grieving because he felt sorry for me because of pasts hurts and l needed to cry and sort of get them all out?....
I Don't think so.... Love me, Yes but l don't think it's why. I think it's for another reason...As hard as it is to say l believe l was grieving the Spirit in the context it talks about in the Bible...It then turns from touchy feely to...
I found the below and think it's more than appropriate...And to me it's scary...but also tender...I like tender because God is tender. I don't want to make God cry like that do you?
The first time he revealed his love for me was back in about 91..
He came into the room when l was praying and he was hurting worse for me than any parent over their child...I just couldn't believe he really felt like that about me....How could he feel that way individually for each person...? We think we're just another name on a list...
until he Loves us.
Then everything we do becomes important...
Oh how l forget...
http://zbh.com/sermons/grieving.htm
GRIEVING THE SPIRIT
Eph 4:30, And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
Let's look at some of the things that grieve God.
WICKEDNESS
Gen 6:5-8, Then the LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. {6} And the LORD was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart. {7} And the LORD said, "I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the land, from man to animals to creeping things and to birds of the sky; for I am sorry that I have made them." {8} But Noah found favor in the eyes of the LORD.
FORGETTING GOD AND DISBELIEF
Psa 78:11, And they forgot His deeds, And His miracles that He had shown them.
Psa 78:22, Because they did not believe in God, And did not trust in His salvation.
Psa 78:32, In spite of all this they still sinned, And did not believe in His wonderful works.
REBELLION
Psa 78:40-42, How often they rebelled against Him in the wilderness, And grieved Him in the desert! {41} And again and again they tempted God, And pained the Holy One of Israel. {42} They did not remember His power, The day when He redeemed them from the adversary,
Isa 63:9-10, In all their affliction He was afflicted, And the angel of His presence saved them; In His love and in His mercy He redeemed them; And He lifted them and carried them all the days of old. {10} But they rebelled And grieved His Holy Spirit; Therefore, He turned Himself to become their enemy, He fought against them.
GRUMBLING
1 Cor 10:1-13, For I do not want you to be unaware, brethren, that our fathers were all under the cloud, and all passed through the sea; {2} and all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea; {3} and all ate the same spiritual food; {4} and all drank the same spiritual drink, for they were drinking from a spiritual rock which followed them; and the rock was Christ. {5} Nevertheless, with most of them God was not well-pleased; for they were laid low in the wilderness. {6} Now these things happened as examples for us, that we should not crave evil things, as they also craved. {7} And do not be idolaters as some of them were; as it is written, "THE PEOPLE SAT DOWN TO EAT AND DRINK, AND STOOD UP TO PLAY." {8} Nor let us act immorally, as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in one day. {9} Nor let us try the Lord, as some of them did, and were destroyed by the serpents. {10} Nor grumble, as some of them did, and were destroyed by the destroyer. {11} Now these things happened to them as an example, and they were written for our instruction, upon whom the ends of the ages have come. {12} Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. {13} No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it.
There was a grumbler who couldn't find anything about which to give thanks or praise. Although financially he was a very successful farmer, because of a very sour attitude, no one enjoyed his company. Nothing seemed to please him. His pastor tried to help brighten the outlook, all to no avail. At the time of the potato harvest, the disgruntled farmer enjoyed a bumper crop. Wanting to strike a more cheerful note, the minister suggested, "Brother I understand you've had a tremendous season with potatoes this year. That certainly must be cause for rejoicing!" The chronic complainer never even smiled, but sourly responded, "Yes, it's true. The harvest was good enough. But my problem is, I don't have any bad potatoes to feed my pigs."
That reminds me. Have you ever heard anyone complaining because their freezer was too full and they had no place to put anything? Or their closet? A thankful heart is not only a virtue, but the parent of all other virtues.
New Testament Grieving
Grieving the Spirit also includes our response to one another in the Body of Christ. Paul explains this as he illustrates how we can keep from grieving the Spirit.
Eph 4:29-32, Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear. {30} And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. {31} Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. {32} And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
One of the main goals of the Holy Spirit is to achieve the unity of the Spirit in the Church. Things that work against that Grieve Him. He works to help the members of the Church maintain right relationships with one another and use their gifts to serve others.
Eph 4:12-13, for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; {13} until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ.
GRIEVED WITH SUFFERING REQUIRED
Mark 14:32-36, And they came to a place named Gethsemane; and He said to His disciples, "Sit here until I have prayed." {33} And He took with Him Peter and James and John, and began to be very distressed and troubled. {34} And He said to them, "My soul is deeply grieved to the point of death; remain here and keep watch." {35} And He went a little beyond them, and fell to the ground, and began to pray that if it were possible, the hour might pass Him by. {36} And He was saying, "Abba! Father! All things are possible for Thee; remove this cup from Me; yet not what I will, but what Thou wilt."
HARDNESS OF HEART
Mark 3:4-5, And He said to them, "Is it lawful on the Sabbath to do good or to do harm, to save a life or to kill?" But they kept silent. {5} And after looking around at them with anger, grieved at their hardness of heart, He said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." And he stretched it out, and his hand was restored.
Over 1,000,000 acres that once held oxygen producing trees are paved over every year. Oxygen is the source of life for man. In paving our tree-producing soil, we are cutting one source of life-sustaining oxygen.
How like the person that hardens his feelings against God's leadership in one area of his life at a time. He is ultimately hardened against God's will and is lifeless. The Scripture says:
Rom 2:5, "But because of your stubbornness and unrepentant heart you are storing up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God,"
SELF-EFFORT ALONE
Gal 3:3, Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?
A person down south years ago, wanted to join a church. So the deacons were examining him. They asked, "How did you get saved?" His answer was, "God did His part, and I did my part." They thought there was something wrong with his doctrine, so they questioned further, "What was God's part, and what was your part?" His explanation was a good one. He said, "God's part was the saving, and my part was the sinning. I done run from Him as fast as my sinful heart and rebellious legs could take me. He done took out after me till He run me down."
My friend, that is the way I got saved also.
RESISTANCE TO THE SPIRIT
1 Th 5:19-20, Do not quench the Spirit; {20} do not despise prophetic utterances.
LEGALISM
Mat 15:6,... And thus you invalidated the word of God for the sake of your tradition.
2 Cor 3:6, who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant, not of the letter, but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.
Believers who are motivated by legalism are always anxious to know what is expected of them. They want to do only what is necessary to make themselves look respectable. They crave specific rules so they can know precisely how to behave. They plod along hoping that someday their efforts will pay off.
According to the New Testament such people are legalists; they are using the law to establish their righteousness. Christ's answer to legalism is that external obedience to the moral law must be coupled with a corresponding inner attitude of love and honesty. Christ's teaching was not intended to abrogate obedience to the moral law, but to add to its intended spirit.
Consequences of Grieving the Spirit
Isa 63:10, But they rebelled And grieved His Holy Spirit; Therefore, He turned Himself to become their enemy, He fought against them.
The Holy Spirit will not leave us, but if we grieve Him, He man temporarily withdraw His fellowship and power. The Holy Spirit never forces Himself upon us. At times, we may wish He was more insistent, that He'd whack us on the hand and shout, "Don't do that .. it makes Me REALLY mad." Instead, He quietly, gently, convicts us of sin and leaves us to choose:
Will I please Him? Or grieve Him?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So when we think we've had this singling out experience by God and we don't get it...well....it becomes a circus side show event.
People flocking to have a spiritual thrill. And really...to prove him to themselves.
Not that either of you received it that way...I believe his presence was there but why...
One of you said something about "trigger points" Even in my posts above...
as l related (potluck) is a trigger point for me...It stirs things up in me...
When you are hurting and everybody wants a creepy potluck...well..it's a trigger point....But God showed me how to deal with it.
First..I hardly ever go, but
second..God had me take my focus off me...
third...he had me use it as an opportunity...to meet and minister to people...
Any fruit? Who knows but it's a good way to make use of a situation l find exceedingly uncomfortable...
But the trigger point is resentment..I resented them because they were having fun while l was hurting and in study you could never get into your problems because you'd be accused of getting the group off track? Sound familiar anybody?
Lots of hurting people disdain the church because of this..So what is the solution?
We can't turn our studies into counseling sessions (and who wants the blind leading the blind anyway)
We have to teach hurting people to seek God themselves. Larry like what you said in one your words about how God wants to equip people to touch God themselves. To free up the Pastors into their calling so they don't have to be weighted down with everybody's burden.
That's teaching them to walk!
If they only quote scripture then they become that tomb you were talking about. And all that cruddy other stuff like banquets and such.
Lord help us to understand your promptings...l pray...
Miki I think throughout life we have all experienced the above that you have written and that is written in the Scriptures.
But there is councelling here...and it is through the Spirit as you know.
It's liberating to let God take us and mold us...to let go and let God.
That was my problem all along...thinking I could fight God's battles. He is the deliverer along with all our brothers and sisters who administer to our hearts. But until our hearts are opened up through the grace of God...we are then just hiding behind a veil which the Lord wants us to come out from..the hidden things we bury God exposes us to his LIGHT..the supernatural can be very uncomfortable for us to discern without praying and asking...but turning to others for answers.
I know this for sure...that we are all created in the Image of God and he will give us what we need and turn us to whom he desires to expose our weaknesses and sometimes our weaknesses can be our biggest strengths...in this I have learned to be humble throughout my life, never intentionally trying to hurt another.
I love you all in Christ Jesus...this site has removed many hurts.
God Bless you all and have a beatuful day in Christ our Risen Savior Jesus.
Words have many meanings...Thank you Jesus for discernment and keep us humble to do your will in all things for your purpose.
God's blessings to you Marta, all you can do is show God's love to your grandmother....and he will lead you to be his witness. Sorry for your loss and will keep you in my prayers.
But there is councelling here...and it is through the Spirit as you know.
It's liberating to let God take us and mold us...to let go and let God.
That was my problem all along...thinking I could fight God's battles. He is the deliverer along with all our brothers and sisters who administer to our hearts. But until our hearts are opened up through the grace of God...we are then just hiding behind a veil which the Lord wants us to come out from..the hidden things we bury God exposes us to his LIGHT..the supernatural can be very uncomfortable for us to discern without praying and asking...but turning to others for answers.
I know this for sure...that we are all created in the Image of God and he will give us what we need and turn us to whom he desires to expose our weaknesses and sometimes our weaknesses can be our biggest strengths...in this I have learned to be humble throughout my life, never intentionally trying to hurt another.
I love you all in Christ Jesus...this site has removed many hurts.
God Bless you all and have a beatuful day in Christ our Risen Savior Jesus.
Words have many meanings...Thank you Jesus for discernment and keep us humble to do your will in all things for your purpose.
God's blessings to you Marta, all you can do is show God's love to your grandmother....and he will lead you to be his witness. Sorry for your loss and will keep you in my prayers.
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