A very dear friend of mine had both of her daughters get married within two years, and she refuses to "let them go." My friend has everything. She has been married to the same man for 30 years, they both make plenty of money, and everything they own is paid for. During the planning of these two weddings, she cried that she was "broke" and had everyone in her church donating everything from the flowers, cake, decorations, to even the services of the pastor. After the weddings, the real problems began.

My friend started calling both of her daughters every night to talk for hours on end, wanting to know every intimate, private detail of their lives and giving instuctions to them in order to manipulate the outcome of everything. When her sons-in-law protested, she and her husband began "dropping in" every night and staying until very late. When more protests came, she arranged for the daughters to start taking classes with her almost every night. These included dance and excercise classes, Bible Study classes, all kinds of classes. When Holidays came, the young men were not allowed to spend one minute of time with their own families, or even their new wives. Every holiday, birthday, and family celebration has been planned out to the last detail.... months before they happened.

Last weekend, I saw these two young men, and both were nearly in tears. They are ready to walk! We have shown my friend all of the Biblical scriptures admonishing young couples to "leave parents and cling to spouse." My friend assumes that these scriptures were only meant for others, not for her. She has her girls so controlled that what"mommie's wants" over-rides anything that their husbands might want to do. My heart is broken for both of these young men, as neither one of them wants nor believes in, divorce. Please pray for "Karen", that God will bless her life and prompt her to be obedient to Him, by letting her daughters go...and allowing them to become wives. Thank you in advance.

How difficult.


Lord,

Please Lord, give these young men wisdom about what to do with thier new family. Lord please convict this controlling woman to trust her daughters into your hands Lord and to enjoy these years with her own husband. Lord please save these precious covenant marraiges.

In Jesus name

amen

Father,

You give spouses as helpmates in ministry. Your ministry of family and in
righteous order according to your word. the world usurps your headship and
many marriages or engagements are broken because of false dependency
upon family control, whether a parent of sibling, or peers.

please, Lord, break these ungodly soul ties that come through generations of
dysfunction and set your families in order.

Father,

let the wives trust their husbands that are worthy of that because they are
following hard after you and not their lust for themselves, their own comfort
and let the husbands protect, nurture and adohr their wives as a gift, such as
the church is a wife unto the Lord. May the joy of the Lord breakthrough and
over the marriages that you put together, and my your family realize the
first love you put in their hearts of and through Jesus. amen

Sharon,

I am so sorry that your friend feels a need to control the movements of her adult children. Sharon, if your friend doesn't allow her daughters and their husbands some independence. your friend will eventually loose her daughters. My mother was a control freak, had to control every aspect of my life. The day finally came when mother dear went to far and a huge argument erupted. Didn't speak to mom for 7 years. Couldn't let her back into my life, because when mom finally understood that she could not control my relationship with my sister, my mother tried to destroy my relatioship with my sister. Mom felt this way; what one can't control, one can destroy. Mom and I finally got back together when her health became bad. I wanted to help Mom die with the Lord and I wanted her to win the Victory. Mom moved in with my family in the last days of her life and she was not a controlling individual, the Lord changed her. I will be in prayer for your friend, her daughters, and their husbands.

Love Ya,

Al

Thanks for the prayers AND the words of wisdom. I have been so torn up over this, that my perspective has been skewered, so I welcome your wisdom to help me make sense of this. Is there anything I can say that will help my friend see how many people she's hurting?

Her husband was once a pastor here in California, and from what I've heard, she cut off all ties with his family years ago, so the girls don't even know their dad's parents. I'm just baffled because so few men that I know, would tolerate this. Talk about a living sacrifice!!! I thought the husband was supposed to be the Head of the family, so why would he go along with this controlling woman, knowing that she's in the wrong?

you are in a hard situation and only god can resolve this al you can do is lift this person in prayer and rebuke that controling spirit in her


for her husband to alow her to have this much influence over him and control it sounds like she knows what she is doing to get her way

the two young men who are maried to her daughters i feel for them and if they decide to divorce her daughters they are with in their rights

i dont wish this to happen but i can see the out come to what you have shared


i was in the same situation when i was maried my x wifes mother went out of her way to destroy me and what hurt people believed my x wifes mother


when our son was born i put my foot down and my x wifes mother did not like it i thought we would be left alone well i was wrong my x wifes mother rang up department off community services and got her friend to do the same ''


in your part of the world family services i live in australia my x wifes mother told department of comunity services that we were abusing our new born child and we were starving him she also told department of comunity services that i was hitting my son which was al lies

today i am no longer with my first wife but her mother has not changed and when ever she rings my x wife she gets in the car and drives all the way to be with her


its her new husbands problem know and he is seeing what i went threw my x wife wil not stand up to her mother


thes two young men dont need this they are with in their rights to put their foot down and if i was in there shoes i would be seeking medical proffesional help



rebuke that spirit in her and dont let her put you down when you are talking to her


there is nothing much you can do she is not hearing you out she is doing her own thing and wil continue to do her own thing


i am supprised that their is no tenssion between the new couples to where there are arguments these young men must be very strong and caring to put up with this



put her on the prayer list in your church fasting also helps



i dont know the person like you do all we can go by is what you are leaving hear their are proffessionals that can deal with this if it was me i would be making sevral ph calls she needs to but out but she cant

and adeline is right to what she left you



God bless from damo

ohhhh the sorrow that ensues when one chooses self over the Lord.. I know it first hand in our family..
dealing with this takes much Godly wisdom, but in the end, it is only the Lord who can change a person
that is my prayer..

Holy Spirit, please, convict these people of their sin, of righteousness - pointing them to Jesus, and
of judgement, should they choose not to heed your precious mercies and grace

Dear Sharon,
Interestingly, I have an Aunt Sharon who is also a control freak, lol. It's really sad however and it's been a huge battle, she has decided not to speak to me for four years because I refused to follow her demands. I've suffered much hurt over this, and have to pray not to go into bitterness, because much of my ability to have quality time with my family has been lost due to her (because I'm not allowed around *her*, therefore whenever everyone gathers for whatever reason, I'm excluded).

It's one thing to offer advice to an individual, but quite another when you *punish* them for not following your advice...which is precisely what my Aunt is guilty of. It's a spirit of witchcraft...control, domination and rebellion in the sight of God.

From my own experience of dealing with this, those who are given to that spirit, it is VERY hard to overcome. We all have a free will. God can *impress* upon us to do the right thing, but He will not force us. It's also very hard to point these things out to those who are given to controlling, be prepared for retaliation. I've yet to see a person immediately admit they are wrong over this spirit. It's not impossible, but very difficult for a person to readily let go of controlling ways. Many times, it's a subtle emotional battle that they may be unaware of, being led more by emotion, rather than the word of God.

Your best bet, if you are able, is to give your advice to the newly weds. And hopefully they will be able to recognize that spirit at work in their lives, thereby rejecting it.

God bless you, and I pray God's will be done in this situation,
Kim

Fantastic advice!!! The daughters should be the ones to put the brakes on this travesty. I'm going to make future suggestions to them, as I can see now, the mom will probably not change, nor will she have much to do with me, but that's ok. Thanks for this angle of oportunity, and thanks to all of you for your prayers.

Hi Sharon!
I'm so glad to have been some help! Yes, it is up to the daughters to either follow their Mother, or their husband. Please pray carefully over how you feel would be best to bring this up to them (also keep in mind, they may repeat your words to their mother...as a word of caution!). You may decide to broach this topic strategically, such as supporting these young ladies in their role of submission (to start off), later giving them opportunities to express their own observations of how their mother is interfering with that role of submission to their husbands. (In other words, be wise as a serpent, yet gentle as a dove).

This is merely a suggestive option, God may give you a different discernment/direction based upon your personal knowledge of this situation.

God bless you!
Kim

wow thats such a difficult situation. im praying for her and her daughters and son in laws

Lord, I ask that you bring a separation of these two young women from their parents, that they may cleave unto their own husbands. Cause their parents to see their sin and repent and apologise to their daughters and their husbands. I ask that you bring proper balance to these relationships speedily in the name of Jesus, amen.

Oath to faithfulness, is not just about physical adultry.

Idol worship, is forbidden via the bride ( Christians ) . . . per bridegroom (Christ). So
these foundation principles are the same in the marriage of contract law, between
the wife and husband.

Maybe, you should speak out the word's " Oath to faithfulness " . . . instead of the
aim - the - target toward the insecurity of the mother-in-law/mother.

Insecurity is based on jealousy.

Jealousy is more cruel than the grave.

Proper attention in speaking out the truth, under the `oath to faithfulness` could help
all parties in this difficult situation aim for the higher purpose.


12888888=51:psalm 51,7th Commandment:~oath, to faithfulness~ "Thou shalt not commit adultery"
http://www.christian-forum.net/index.php?s...c=21973&hl=

Amen.

Praying in agreement.