These are risque but remember they were on TV in the sixities...

Sent: Wednesday, July 09, 2008 9:25 AM
Subject: TOO FUNNY

>>>> Hollywood Squares:
>>>>
>>>> If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this
>>>> may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are
>>>> from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were
>>>> spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host
>>>> asking the questions, of course........
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Q. Do female frogs croak?
>>>> A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
>>>>
>>>> Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should
>>>> you be?
>>>> A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
>>>> A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man
>>>> or a woman?
>>>> A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and
>>>> you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if
>>>> he's married?
>>>> A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
>>>> A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love
>>>> You'?
>>>> A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
>>>> A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next
>>>> apartment.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your
>>>> hands while talking?
>>>> A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and
>>>> I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
>>>> A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to
>>>> get any during the first year?
>>>> A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
>>>> A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist
>>>> camps. One is politics, what is the other?
>>>> A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
>>>> A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
>>>> A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a
>>>> goose do?
>>>> A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
>>>> A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into
>>>> the habit of kissing a lot of people?
>>>> A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
>>>> A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his
>>>> head, what was he trying to do?
>>>> A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
>>>> elephant?
>>>> A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
>>>> A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them
>>>> and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
>>>> A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do
>>>> in bed?
>>>> A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> 'WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD, WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE
>>>> STOP LAUGHING'

It perfectly shows the lack of taste, even in humor.

You perfectly show every anal endorsement. Is there a doctor in the house? Give her a thermometer...the kind that reads high end fire...

Funny!

Cute.

Maz,

Some real belly laughs could be had by watching the Hollywood Squares, the audience and host never knew what one liners the stars would utter. Thanks for the memories...

Gods Blessings,

Al

This reply means much to me....

Those people could sure think of something humorous to say quickly couldnt they? I could never think of something that fast. Funny! Thanks.

I think that quick wit of those men in that time was exemplary in that they had a ready answer. Few are ready to answer in this day. And that is not funny. I like the handle...reminds me of a dog and a tire if you get my drift...but beyond that it reminds me of Psalms 1....Psa 1:3 And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.

Thanks Maz, that was encouraging to me.

Enjoy a portion of Hollywood Square and a bonus commercial on youtube...the year 1968.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_i-fPAPIBn4...feature=related

Gods Blessings,

Al