Since I got born again (4 1/2 years ago), I started studying and writing a book. The book is now in its final stages before publication, but I am having problems with my (unsaved) husband.

He does not get it he needs salvation and believes the lies of a preacher who has taught him all he knows (aka: NOTHING!) since he keeps repeating all that should be regarded in the entire (!) Bible is only what Jesus HAS SAID...

God even sent him a LIEING PREACHER on his path to sell him a car, supposedly "a perfect buy, without any problem". Talk about problem, now 2 years later, he still works on it because the preacher had lied to him through his teeth!!!

And he still don't get it! That PREACHERS (yes!) CAN LIE!!! (even if/though they have 13 degrees!) Just like the one who taught him Bible school!!!

I can't talk to him; he says he had rather go to Hell then be with me... I told him if he knew what hell was about he would never say such a thing.

To make the whole story short, I feel bad giving him money from the sales of a book that talks about the Bible if he is going to badmouth it! That would be the biggest hypocrisy!

Please pray for God to save him out of his stupidity!

Oh sweetie..I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time. It's tough when your husband isn't a Christian. I know I LIVE it! I've gone at it from all different directions...we've gotten into some horrible fights over religion. We did this for years. But suddenly the Lord put me in my place...I can't hurry up the Lord to bring my husband into salvation because it's messing up my life! Man what a blow to my ego that was! I wanted it MY way and NOW! I was mad at the Lord...why do I have to put up with this Lord? I'm living for you, can't you give me a break in this area? But that's just it...it's not about me. It's about Him. That's when I started to redirect my thoughts...when my husband would attack my faith...I wouldn't fight back. As much as my flesh wanted to strike back...I wouldn't engage. I accepted the persecution so to speak and I handed it over to the Lord. I changed the way I looked at the situation. Because I wasn't the one who could change it...the Lord knew his plan for my husband and He would take him there in His time. There were things he needed to learn along the way through the trials he was given. I couldn't hurry it along for my selfish reasons..but oh how difficult that was for me! It was pure agony not to engage to defend my Lord!

So I started to just respond to everything in the most non confrontational and loving manner possible. I prayed for patience to be a good servant, loving wife, good mother and for a stronger marriage. I asked the Lord to change MY heart concerning my husband.

Slowly but surely, I noticed a change. He was intrigued by my strength and faith in the Lord. He observed me as I lived a life according to Him. He wanted to know how I got this type of faith. He noticed changes in me and our marriage started to heal. I never bug him about the Lord...I know the Lord will bring my husband to Him in His time...not mine. I was able to relax in that peace He gave me.

It's hard when all you want to do is run down the street singing at the top of your lungs that JESUS IS LORD!!! It's a feeling you want everyone to share in..and it particularly hurts when the one you love most isn't even close to being there...and may even tease you about it. My husband could get real mean...but now, years later, he's coming around. I can see how the Lord has been able to work in his life. I was getting in the way! go figure!!!

I don't know if this is even close to what you're going through, but something in me felt led to share my life with you today. Blessings to you Anne..I will keep you and your husband in my prayers.

Love to you,
Lisa

Father, I ask for peace to be giving. That he would more loving and learn more at your hand than mans. In Jesus name, amen.

Lord, heal this marraige. help this woman to walk in humility before you. To have a gentle and quiet spirit. Help her to love her husband, by praying and not saying. Help her to become a servant to him as a wife. (no I don't mean a doormat) help her to put the needs of her husband ahead of her own. Help her lord to draw strength from you, to find Joy in this difficult situation througgh you.

Lord, I ask that you gently begin to draw her husband towards a real relationship with you. Not one revolving around church, but one that revolves around you. Help him to love his wife, to give himself up for her. Lord please heal this family.

I ask this in Jesus name
\amen

In the Name of Jesus Christ, I break down and DESTROY the filthy lies of that heretic preacher--that devil--that false prophet--who filled your husband with that deception! May God set your husband free, absolutely FREE of that 'strong delusion.' +

Yes Anne I certainly have you both in my prayers! Lisa...What a Word! Your attitude and change in spirit towards your husband is so Biblical.... I Peter 3. Anne... I have been here in my marriage as well, I must admit that I did just as Lisa has spoken of. Just recently my husband started holding devotions with my children... and even taught my mothers Sunday School class on Sunday! Thank you Jesus. The Lord is the only one to change a heart. My heart really goes out to you sweetie ...praying for you.


Your Friend in Christ,
Val
Messiahiscoming

Even though it's hard, it's best to keep your mouth shut. Pray..."God change me" then he can really use you to reach your husband. Some come some don't but be the best example you can. I pray God will use you as you submit to his purposes for you. Serve your husband. Try to see and respect who God made him to be.

Amen Miki and Lisa.

You cannot yell, beg, plead, cry enough to "make him see". You just have to trust that God has heard and will continue to hear your prayers for him- and then love him. That's ALL you can do... but that's plenty enough.

Iron his shirts and lay out his clothes to surprise him in the morning before he goes to work.
Cook him his favorite meals.
Tell him you are proud of him... pick a quality you admire and salt your conversation with words of affirmation.
Hold his hand as he watches a football game.
Let him have the last word.
Be gentle and patient.
Be kind and loving.
(I'm preaching to myself here.)

Be the face of Jesus without saying a single word.

I am in a unequally yoked marriage too. It sucks not being understood- your spouse is supposed to be your best friend and yet he cannot really communicate with you because he doesn't have a heart for the Lord (yet).

I understand your pain. I'm so sorry. I will pray for you. I love you.

You know- God has told me that He saved me before my husband because there was more work to do on me. He is crushing me and molding me into a servant- getting me to be submissive to Him and His will as I try to learn how to be a good wife and witness.

Hey...but we don't have to be living with an unbeliever to do this.
Many Christian marriages fail for lack of this.

Ok, this thread made me smile. I have no clue why. I am going to try to address some things mentioned here. But first, I would like to point out I am extremely delirious from lack of sleep. Up ALL night with daughter that is very ill, and now in hospital. If I don't make sense, just ignore.
I am keeping you all in my prayers. Anna, it made me think after reading what you are going through that what I read from Lisa and gals(sorry to lazy to go back and check names) They all said a lot of the same things. How they deal with it and how they all came to the same conclusion. I say live your life for you and rejoice in the Lord. Let your husband see what having the Lord in your life is like. It is Awesome. You don't need to preach at him. He will be a witness of it all.
One other thing that came to my mind, was when you said that you proceeds of your book you feel not sharing when it is something that he badmouths. I really feel, if I am not reading this wrong that your husband is jealous that you have something so wonderful, awesome,and amazing in your life. You have a direction and purpose. He is jealous and showing it from the point of view of being harsh towards what makes you happy and joyful. his way of dealing with the fact you have this other "love" in your life is for him too act this way.
Anyhow, I need to get sleep, I am literally dragging head off the keyboard. I know I have to get back in an hr or 2. Maybe more later. I have no clue if I made any sense. To lazy to check.
I will keep you in my prayers.

Amen, Lord deliver!

==============

I thought of these verses...


1Pe 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, [be] in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
1Pe 3:2 While they behold your chaste conversation [coupled] with fear.
1Pe 3:3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward [adorning] of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
1Pe 3:4 But [let it be] the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, [even the ornament] of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
1Pe 3:5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
1Pe 3:6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
1Pe 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with [them] according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Thank you, guys: Shakia, Shekel, jhammer, peacemaker, Miki, Messiahiscoming, Father Onesimus, Miche, Roxygal! Thank you for holding me in your prayers. God bless you all!

Our finances are terrible, so this too is not helping. It's been like that for the past 22 years ever since we have been together and even our son (15) is suffering for it. He told me again this morning that he wanted a dad who loved him. For some reason, my hubby don't want to work! He could work for his other son if he wanted to, but he once did and his own son cheated him of his money! So now he don't want to work for any one because he is so scared to be cheated again. He held 3 jobs for 5 years and each time they cheated him!
My husband is now 69 and I wished he would work up until my book starts selling. That's all I am asking. So this is not helping because our son is fussing every day about our finances and he constantly reminds it to me and to his dad, and he is angry at his dad for not working so that the bills can be paid. So it's a dead end!

Sometimes, I feel like a piece of meat between two slices of bread. Pressed on both sides by negative people and it's hard to keep my faith, to believe there will be a way out of it WHEN no one around me will pray or believe with me that things can get better! I have no one to talk to but you guys. My parents are in Europe and my siblings abroad as well!

Yes, I pray that the LORD gives me strength when all I see around is nothing but reasons to despair.

Sometimes, I want to divorce him because what was left between us is even gone, so what's the point?
There is not ONE thing left we both can agree on.

Please God, give me understanding so at least I know where I am going and help to go where you would want me to go. Give me that strength!

May the Lord give you wisdom on your finances.

Amen




yep, we all preach to ourselves at times...may the LORD JESUS continue to strengthen us in peace.

love you julie

He will be YOUR PEACE...I pray that our LORD gives your household all the desires of you heart...take care.
God is WITH you.

Anne,

I will uphold you in prayer. Sometimes living with an unbeliever is not an easy thing to do. My own husband who is warm in the faith has said to me: "Al, when we got married, we became one. So the way I figure it I will get to heaven through you.". I will also be praying for the preacher who is walking and talking deception to your husband.

Some of the posts in this thread reminded me of the serenity prayer:

"Lord give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (Places, people, things)
Courage to change the things I can I can (Myself)
And the wisdom to know the difference."