I guess maybe I should start from the beginning....

My name is Andy and I am a 30 year old married man and...

I was saved when I was very young and grew up in a Christian home. Since my teen years I have struggled with being a Christian. I have consistently been knocked off my feet....time....and time....and time again. Watching my family members, friends and even people I hardly knew experience Gods joy in their life I wondered to myself when will I experience the same thing. When will I know that God is speaking to me? I know the word a fair bit and I understand what God has to say...I mean I know exactly what I am supposed to do. If God is supposed to fill the "void" that is in my heart then why does it still feel so empty? Every conquest that was set in front of me was a total failure. I desired so much to have a personal relationship with Christ but never did...instead I pretended like I did.

Finally I got sick of lying to myself and to those around me and I ditched God and religion. For about 6-8 months now I have stopped church entirely and have turned from God. My life has been easier in a lot of ways but not totally better. See it is hard to ignore what I know of God...and of hell. I can just live my life this way and be happy here....but I know the cost is greater than I could imagine. So what is to be: hell on earth? Or hell for eternity? Given the options I would have to chose hell on earth...but please pray for me since every day is a struggle...it is so hard sometimes I wish someone knew where I was coming from.

Please pray for me as I need it...pray that God would save me from myself! And my tormentor! God bless you for looking!

Brother you can be sure that we will lift you in prayer!



God bless you!!
Jeep

Hello Andy,

I will pray for you. Truly, I am going to pray for you. BUT, you must pray too!

You wish someone knew where you're coming from? You just hit the jackpot son!

I know these torments and that continual hell way to well to ignore your post. If you are saved and baptized in the Name of The Lord Jesus Christ, I have an exhortation for you:

1- Read the Word of God, not one verse here, one page there. No Andy, cover to cover, no jumps, and use a King James version, at least this one has the most reverence toward God.

1A- Sing to the Lord from your heart. You don't like singing? Sing anyway! In heaven everybody sings!

2- Stop listening to your own flesh. The devil which is our enemy has an allie and that's our flesh. he is the accuser of the brethren. When the torments arise stop focusing on them, turn your eyes to our Saviour The Lord Jesus Christ. He is the living waters and He can quench the fiery darts of the enemy.

3- Do not compare yourself to others. Oh that is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Don't be swayed by the appearances. Specially when I personally know for a fact and by experience that there are more "christian posers" out there than genuine believers.

4- Not everyone "hears" God audibly, but if He wants your attention, you can be sure that He will create some motions on your path.

5- Do not confuse emptiness for peace. The enemy is clever in the art of using smokescreens.

6- Some people when they're saved are going on a 2-3 years honeymoon with The Lord and it seems that everything works without an itch on smooth ball-bearing technology. There are others when they're saved, The Lord starts the baptism of fire right away. If The Lord does so with you it is because there is something precious to be discovered in there.

Some food for thoughts:

Andy do you know the diference between a pearl and a diamond?

A pearl comes from a little mollusk (no backbone) in a seashell on the soft sandy ocean floor that is irritated by a grain of sand or corral. It sheds tears called nacre which creates layers to sooth the irritation, this cycle continues until all that is left is the precious pearl.

A diamond is a collection of rotting garbage turning into carbon deep down in the earth. Total darkness, high pressure and heat is the normal environment. The diamond is always found stuck to solid rock, not sand. To extract it from its environment you don't use a pocket knife as to open the seashell, you use dynamite! And that's only to get it to the surface. Now to make it look its best, you have to cut it with an extremely sharp schizel. Chunks are flying, but the gemologist knows exactly what to keep and where to cut to make it look real good. Then the polishing almost on a grinder. Once that's done, you have in your hand one of the most desired gem on this planet.

Are you a pearl or a diamond?

meekness

Dear Brother Andy,

Thank you for the courage to ask us to pray for you. I can assure you that I know exactly where you are coming from I can relate 100%. In 1985 I gave my life to God served Him for many years teaching and singing and working in the bus ministry not to mention serving in the visitation/soul winning ministry. Through all that time I had the blessings of seeing many come to know God. I however, was the only one in my family serving God at that time. I took my two children to church every week and didn't miss a cahnce to serve God. But then I went through a divorce, not that I wanted too but I allowed others to convence me that it was the thing to do. I knew that God didn't agree with divorce but my husband at the time was doing his own thing drugs and never working, I had to work and take care of the family. When I went through the divorce he stalked me day and night he wound up in prision because of breaking his restraining order and stealing. I never wanted it to work out that way but it did. I left the town that we were living in because he kept calling me from jail and telling me that he would get even. He had already put a butcher knife to my throat and told me he would kill me or I would kill him. Well, I was scared to death and knew that if he got out and got back on drugs that it could happen. So I left, but I didn't just pack up and leave a town I left my church home my childrens friends and most saddly I left My savior behind. I went from one marriage to another and 4 years later was alone again because I found out that he was still married to another, and he was an alchoholic, sorry for my speling...anyway, I drifted farther and farther apart from God, I would up in other relationships that caused destruction in my soul. My last relationship I was the last straw sort to speak. GOD got my attention through reading posts here and I realized that God wasn't done with me yet. I know people here had lifted me up to God I have no doubt about that. God spoke to my heart and now I am no longer in that bad relationship. I am serving God a different way now. Is everything going fine? Well, yes and no. I live with non-christian people, there are drugs al around and the talk I have to hear is beyound what I can take sometimes. Life isn't all that great in the lives of many around me, I have struggled with having to be kicked out of a home only a few days after getting here. A landord accused my daughters dog of bitting her,,,NEVER HAPPENED I WS THERE but she didn't know it. now we have to go to court this wednesday to defend ourselves with no lawyer. And with all the judges here already knowing the reputation of my son-in-law and his drug use I wonder does my daughter even have a chance, the welfare has been called on them and I could go on and on, For many years I felt that void in my life to so yes I really do know what you are talking about. We may be going through different trials and things in life but we all have One who can make all things better. Just this mornign i was listening to a song, went something like this...I can't take away your troubles...BUT I KNOW A MAN WHO CAN...JESUS...Please Andy do not stop trusting in God, THat is Satan's whole plan to keep you to drag you away form the onw and only one who can save us. God never said that it would be easy and that things would be great all of the time. Everyday we have knew struggles and yes I sometimes even now feel a void and emptiness, why because I need a companion, someone here who can pray with me and talk with me but I don't have that. Will that cause me to run away form God again or anything that is happening here, my brother may doe and when and if that happens I am going to feel a great void in my life. And until I hear that he has given his life to Christ, I will hurt for his soul. Andy I know I am babbling and I could go on and on, my point is PLEASE PLEASE don't give up on GOd, that is what Satan wants you to do,. just two days ago I was feeling pretty low, I said, I can't do this anymore I can't keep fighting and losing, I said I feel like the biggeset failure...But then in Church yesterday morning I heard a word from God...He said I am not a losser and I can keep going why because I will get my strength from Him and Him alone. You see he has His angel;s of protection all around me and you. God is NOT going to give up on you, and please don't give up on GOd because that void you may be feeling right now will not compare to the void you wil fell if you are left behind. Here is something that I have found that keeps me very close to God....I PRAY for every one I can pray for every day I even have a prayer journal I write it all down, that way I don't forget anyone who has requested prayer. When I see God answering and see GOd working I begin to praise Him and it has filled that void that I so often feel. Nothing else can fill it like Jesus can. Stay in His word read every chance you get, pray that GOd will give you understanding and what ever you do "Keep On Keeping On" & "Never Give Up" I have been there and GOd called me back into the fold, He never left me nor forsoke me but if I hadn't have been listening and if I haven't had obeyed his word, and if people hadn't have lifted me up I could still be there with my ex living in sin and not caring if I went to hell or not. THat is something that I have said before I didn't care but PRAISE GOD HE CARED enough to cause others to feel compassion for me enough to pray for me and HE HIMSELF had so much UNCONDITIONAL LOVE that He would not let me go. Satan's traps are colorful and somtimes seem so good to t he eyes, but don't be fooled for onw second, DON'T LET SATAN GET HIS SNARES IN YOU, Fall on your knees and talk to God He isn't our enemy, He is our STRENGTH, OUR FRIEND, OUR REFUGE, OUR HOPE AND JOY AND LOVE.... Phill. 4"13 says that we can do all things through Christ who strenthens us. Claim that promise today as I and many others have and see God blessing your life. Pray for others and you will begin to be blessed in a way that you never thought possible. Trust me insted TRUST JESUS....When I fist came back down here and Left Indianapolis, just outside of Indy into Chicago I got a message from God....Twice on a bridge post it read in big letters....TRUST JESUS....then just a few miles down, there was that BIG WHITE CROSS it was beautiful and then came the words inside...."HOLD ON. FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELT BECAUE IT'S GOING TO BE A BUMBPY RIDE" I know those words were from God it was His message to be a warning and yes the road has been very bumbpy..But with prayer and friends on here I have come through every storm....GOD HAS BROUGHT ME THROUGH EVERY STORM....He WILL YOU TOO if you just Trust Him with your whole heart...GO read Jer. 29"13.....and we will seek Him and find Him when we have searched Him with our whole hearts. FOrgive me if I didn't get every word right I am just now begining to memorize that verse...Do that and claim the promises and don't allow any one or thing influance you into to walking away form God He is there for you and He will get you thropugh it all We can overcome because He has overcome the world. I love you brother and you are on my prayer list..Please please Don't give up. It will be worth it all when we see Jesus. I promise....

angelheart

firstly, when we see 'italics' in the Bible, that means the translators added the words themselves. Sometimes it helps with context, sometimes the words are archaic. Either way, it is called in grammar, an ellipsis supplied. We are free to supply our own, or leave out their helpful hints entirely, which brings me to my point, ref the Ps quote below, where I just remove their ellipsis supplied, indicated by <>.

Personally, the Lord had to 'bout pinch my head off. I have now been studying about 2 years, like the man below:

1Sa 10:6
And the Spirit of the LORD will come upon thee, and thou shalt prophesy with them, and shalt be turned into another man.

Psa 109:4
For my love they are my adversaries: but I <> prayer.

or,

but I <am a> prayer

or

but I <become> prayer.

Remember, even our righteousnes is as filthy rags before Him whom the very heavens are unclean before His sight. Holiness, we know nothing of it:

1Co 10:13
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

Col 3:2
Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
3 For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.
4 When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.

Eph 2:5
Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, by (grace ye are saved;) 6 And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus:
7 That in the ages to come he might show the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God.

Eph 4:1
I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called,2 With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; 3 Endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

2Ti 2:15
Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

Andy, Hope today was filled with joy for you. The Lord has laid it upon my heart to share a song with you and who ever else may read this post. Please soak up every word and claim the promises of God....


The crowd was great but she knew she had to reach Him
It was her last hope of ever being healed
So she PRESSED through untill she touched HIS garment
Oh right then and there her miracle was fullfilled.


Have you prayed and prayed but still you've heard no answer?
Has your FAITH grown weak and you feel you're all alone?

DON'T GIVE UP FOR THE GOD YOU SERVE WON'T LEAVE YOU...
THERE'S A MIRACLE FOR YOU SO JUST KEEP HOLDING ON.....


There's a miracle in the making one for you the Father is working even now...
You're prayers have been heard and the answer's on the way...
There's a miracle in the making for you today.......


I lvoe you brother and am praying for you and all your family. God bless you today and every day. If I never get to meet you face to face hear in this world I pray that I will meet you in Heaven. Till then "KEEP ON KEEPING ON" & "NEVER GIVE UP"


angelheart

I am glad to see everyone support me! Actually it made me cry...I really felt like the Holy Spirit was working through all of you! My life has changed a bit and I am trying to "walk" again. It won't be easy I know, but as meekness said which am I (perl or diamond)? I will need all the prayer I can get since I know the fire is coming and the enemy is not happy with my choice! The devil may rule this earth but he won't rule in heaven...better to be a slave in earth than to be a king in hell. I feel that "on fire for God" feeling right now and am praying that my faith doesn’t waver under pressure...I desire to be like a rock...unwavering in my trust and faith of the Lord. Maybe someday I will achieve this goal...or maybe even more these are the trials I must go through in order to become what I desire. Just some of my thoughts thanks again everyone...even people who didn't post but prayed for me nonetheless...for you time and I will be around.

Dear Brother Andy, Praise the Lord for answered prayer. Let me tell you a secret....today I woke up for some reason in an irratated mood. My granddaughter came into my room(as they always do and I usually never mind, in fact I welcome it because I get angel kisses and hugs and laughter) however this morning I was reading my Bible and really wanted to me time with God, but it was interupted and I got moody, I allowed it to set the next moments for irritation. I cooked breakfast and the gravy overflowed...(wow I just thought about the fact that that is what God does in my life every day, HIS BLESSINGS OVERFLOW..) anyway, with that and my son-in-laws dog going to the bathroom on the floor which hardly never happens, and the HEAT the HUMIDITY, which I am sure is way worse somewhere else, and the fact that we don't have an airconditioner...and I have already had one heat stroke, and with fibromyalgis my bones and muscels begin to hurt real bad in the extreme heat or cold, put all that together and indeed Satan was trying to attack me. I said things that I should not have and would not have if I hadn't of been attacked. I smoked a ciggerette when I am trying so hard to quiet...well, I have said all this to say, YOU ARE AN ANSWERED PRAYER. You have given me the encouragement that I so needed this morning. I have to use the public libray to get on line and to do that I had to walk here. LOL...SATAN CAN NOT HAVE ME....PRAISE THE LORD. anyway, in my e-mail I get the Daily Bread..this is what was in it this morning....again PRAISE GOD FOR YOU...

This week's promise: God will guard you from the evil one
How can I defend myself against Satan's attacks?

Be strong with the Lord's mighty power. Put on all of God's armor so that you will be to stand firm against all the strategies and tricks of the Devil. For we are not fighting against people made of flesh and blood, but against the evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against those mighty powers of darkness who rule this world, and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms.

Ephesians 6:10-12 NLT


Tricking Houdini

During his life, Harry Houdini had a standing challenge that he could escape from any jail cell within an hour. A small town in the British Isles had just constructed a new jail cell they thought was escape-proof, and they wanted to put it to the test. Houdini entered the cell and immediately went to work. After two grueling hours—an hour past his deadline—Houdini finally withdrew his file from the lock and leaned against the door in exhaustion. To his amazement, the cell door swung open.

The jailors had tricked the great magician by closing the jail door but never bolting the lock. He was free all along, he just didn't know it.

Satan has the same strategy, doesn't he? His greatest weapon is to make us think that we are trapped, when in reality the cell door is always open. Satan can't bind us, so he tricks us into making us believe the cell door is locked.



I praise God for all that He is all that He does and all that He brings us through... Thank you for letting me know how God is answereing my prayers and many others. May God keep you in the embrace of HIS LOVING arms allways.

angelheart