In my dream I was seeing myself from above, but feeling it as if I were looking from my eyes...(weird to have 2 different perspectives at the same time). I was on a lonely flat surface the color of dark yellow or gold. God's "shadow" passed over me. --mind you, it was only the shadow of the Hand of God, not His full Presence. And I was so overwhelmed, I couldn't stand or look. I was so terrified and overpowered, so utterly devastated by the power of Him--It was the most powerful, heavy, strong, forceful Presence, that I could not bare to look up. I was flat on the ground. I felt soooo humbled and grief stricken at my unworthiness, that my wish was to just burrow as flat to the ground as I could--there was nowhere to go. I couldn't hide from Him. The intensity of His presence was so overwhelming it took my breath away--and this was only His Shadow--. No one-- NO one could stand under His gaze. This lasted only a second, but a lifetime.

During this, I did not have direct speech with God, (that would have been impossible!--I was speechless) but the thought was given to me that I was arrogant --very arrogant to think my life was my own to live. The message was that my life belonged to God to direct as He pleased, and even the selfish little intentions I had to live my life as I pleased were beyond arrogant. That was all. I was sobbing with how arrogant my thinking had been, like "What can I do for God?" or "What do I want to do with my life?" And that my life is not really MINE. Even in every day selfish choices. And the people who know me would not call me selfish or arrogant (at least, I don't think so ).

Then after His shadow passed, I felt so bereft, so devastated to be out of His presence. It was more than horrible to be away from Him.

I would like to say I experienced an overwhelming feeling of love, but in this, I experienced His Power or Presence. I wouldn't call it a peaceful dream--a friend asked me if I experienced peace with it. No. But the devastation I felt after He had gone was surely without Peace. That was HORRIBLE. Sickening. I longed to be back in His Presence; to be in His Hand, to be safe. I guess I knew He loved me. But it was not a sugar-coated dream by any means.

Is this dream from God? A friend had her doubts, touting that I should feel peace if it were from God. I just don't know. But it was disturbing, to say the least. And the strange thing was, it just came out of the blue. I couldn't relate it to any specific events in my life that might trigger guilty feelings. Please let me know what you think--prayerfully think.

Thanks, Shawna

I think God wants you to pray for humbleness because He has a plan for your life. He wants to use you.

dear Shawna...

your reaction is quite typical of all that have been blessed with direct attention upon them from God, Jehovah.

as you have already read in scripture, consider the psalmist who wrote that his "flesh has had a creepy feeling" in His presence.

Consider the reaction of Daniel, Saul, and all others who experienced the divine presence.

it is frightening.

i understand.

but it is at the same time a good kind of fright. one that you wish would end, but also that would go on forever.....

but if it did, we would not be able to handle it....right?

Father is reminding you of his attention upon you....and you get a sense of his awesome power....and our incredible weakness before him....how sinful we are, and how deeply we need him.

He is God, and He alone should be worshipped.
Do not honor men, for even the ones who love God as you, are nothing more than good-for-nothing slaves.....praise and honor and strength and power and glory and majesty belong to God.

Worship God. He is Real. Put nothing, or no one else, before Him.
listen to the Son.....that one has revealed the Father.

these things you know.

love to you dear Shawna,
blindzebra

Thank you so much for your perspective. I am truly humbled. I never really thought of myself as proud, but now I can see areas of pride in my life....much more than I ever dreamed of.

--Not that I was proud of being humble, mind you!

My eyes were opened and I did not like what I saw. Pride even in the way I interpreted Scripture. --Saying "I could be wrong," but not really believing I could be wrong. stuff like that. Almost like self-righteous arrogance. ugly.

But -- direct attention from God Himself. Now THAT is humbling. I can never quite believe that God really loves me (although I know it). And direct attention from HIM, I mean, wow. It doesn't seem real. It's one thing to know something from your head and another with your heart. I know He loves me. I believe it. I see his special attention to me in my prayers and His answers. I even see a special "code" that reminds me of Him all the time (the numbers 333--- I see them so much during the day that it's weird). But why does the disbelief stay with me?

Oh, the numbers 333: I started seeing them constantly 11 years ago. I saw them so much every day, that it really scared me. I wasn't sure if it was the enemies way to distract me... on license plates, on amounts at the check-out stand when I bought something, looking at the clock, etc. It was everywhere. It was so much more than coincidence would ever allow for. I prayed about it and the next day I was at the Christian book store and bought a nice card for someone. The amount was $3.33. and inside the card stood the verse, Jeremiah 33:3.

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."

Needless to say, God had my attention. Another time, for just one more example, I was visiting a friend's Bible study. We divided into groups and each drew a scrap of paper out of a box with a verse on it to read aloud. What did I get? YES! Jeremiah 33:3!!! I was shaking. I looked for the BIG meaning behind it...and it never surfaced. I was waiting for something grand to happen in my life on March 3rd, 2003. --Normal day.

It happens SO MUCH that now I just pray (Call out to God) when I see it. I know it's from the Lord, because when I asked Him, He sent me the Bible verse in answer. This has been happening for 11 years. Sometimes I may not notice it for a while, but then it will happen several times a day.

Does this happen to anyone else? I'm sure I'm not the only one, but my friends and family must think I'm a little nutty! Does anyone else have any other take on this? It seems straight forward, but...I could be wrong! really!

Eagerly looking forward to your prayerful reply,
(Thanks so much!)
shawna--

Thank You Miche. My thoughts---"Who, me? Little old ME?" He will have to overcome my many MANY shortcomings in order to use me. (sigh)

Thank You blindzebra. I see now that my reaction was more normal than I would have thought. I appreciate your feedback more than you know. Shawna

shawna, the holy spirit is indeed like the wind.

when it comes, you surely know it.

you can surely feel it. mental images and words come. not audible.

and where it comes from and where it goes we do not know.

but you know it. Yes, God is Real.

and it is very humbling, and frightening, and there are no words to speak of it, accurately.

be still, and know that He is God.

He is accomplishing His will, by means of his spirit.

He is able.

able to use anyone, whomever He so chooses.

even the least among men.

no, especially the least among men, is he pleased to use to bring praise to His name.

no flesh can boast, in the sight of God.

my first initial mental response, in tears and fear, were, "But Father, you must have made a mistake!! for who i am?"

now.....just imagine how you would have felt, if you, in your heart, had said THAT to Father..........

it was if i wanted to retract it,--immediately!! but no, i had said it in my heart, like Sarah had laughed.... i was devastated. i wept. i was afraid.

but He is patient and kindly.

The work that He has begun in you, He himself will finish.

love to you dear one.
bz

shawna,

it was brought to my attention, by means not my own, that there are two bible verses that go like, appear like, this: J33-3.

you will find them at Jeremiah 33:3, as you already know....
but, please, also see Job 33:3.

(there are only two 'J' books that have as many as 33 chapters.... )

you will be called upon to suffer for his Name. for his Son.

but you already know this.

stand firm, even unto death, and you will receive the crown of life.

your friend,
bz


ps. watch out for Bono... do not look to men.
some would have us look to them, not giving glory to God and his Son.....they are the imposters. see, now i have told you plainly.

BZ,

Yes, my ministry is my husband. My suffering is for the purpose of bringing him back to the Lord. He is so ensconced in his pit, and angry, very angry at God. No one believes he is able to be brought back to the Lord. But I do. I have not given up on him --or rather on God. For He is able and will do it. HOWEVER, I, in this journey had begun to slip. I feel like I almost just fell in the pit, and was barely saved from losing hope and love for everyone.

This is also where my pride comes in. He hurts me (not physically) and I get angry and try to defend myself. He used to be a very strict and legalistic Christian. He just doesn't believe or understand that God is benevolent. God is also Just. And I am praying that God will have mercy on us.

Another thought came to me. Isn't it pretty arrogant of me to be pleading with God, The AUTHOR of mercy, to have mercy for my husband.......as if it were possible for ME to love my husband MORE than God! or for ME to have more mercy than God???? That strikes me as hilarious! Ha! The irony of it!!!

Thank you, BZ for reminding me that God will finish the work in me. But can you elaborate further about the Job33:3? and also, what do you mean, Bono? I didn't understand that part.

Thanks again,
shawna

Hello shawna,

I have a message for you;

Love... Conquers... All... !

What will certainly touch your husband is your silence when he hurts you, and your obedience and steadfastness when you serve God and him. When he hurts you remember the vision The Lord gave you.

Titus 2 (King James Authorized Version)

7In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity,

8Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.

9Exhort servants to be obedient unto their own masters, and to please them well in all things; not answering again;

10Not purloining, but shewing all good fidelity; that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Saviour in all things.

I was in your husband's shoes once. I was a legalistic (well, one of the so many flavours) and I got angry at God. But The Lord knows my heart and was gracious toward me by granting me time to sort things out in my heart, and a loving spouse who's just not a quitter.

meekness

Another thought came to me. Isn't it pretty arrogant of me to be pleading with God, The AUTHOR of mercy, to have mercy for my husband.......as if it were possible for ME to love my husband MORE than God! or for ME to have more mercy than God???? That strikes me as hilarious! Ha! The irony of it!!!

YOU DO now understand! yes, you said that beautifully....

Thank you, BZ for reminding me that God will finish the work in me. But can you elaborate further about the Job33:3? and also, what do you mean, Bono? I didn't understand that part.

Thanks again,
shawna

Shawna. it was a personal revelation, given to me just after 9-11.
i am no music buff, by any means. i know so little.
But Bono is one to watch out for.

He prefers to apply the scriptures, as i see it, to himself.
He would like to be the messiah.
He would like to save the world.
He glorifies, not God, but rather, himself.

watch.

Bono is lead singer for the group U2.

But his involvment in world affairs, grows....

you will hear more of him. more from him.

exercise caution.

Satan loves to appear as an angel of light.

Indeed, he knows what the truth is .....
but truth is not in him.

For none had power greater than Jesus upon earth.
and yet he did not involve himself in the politics of his day.

His kingdom is no part of this world.
His kingdom comes from a different source.
and not by might nor money shall it be established.
but, rather, by God's spirit.

Do not be misled about this, now, or in the near future.

For just when they are saying "Peace and Security!"
Sudden destruction will befall them, instantly, as the pangs of distress upon a pregnant woman. they will by no means escape.

The judgment of God is true.

your friend,
bz