As a child, I went to church every Sunday. As an EARLY teen, I was baptized, and confessed Christ in front of the congregation. The confession, I must "confess" was more to please my parents than about anything else. I was unsure as to it all. I still had questions, and I definately had doubts. However, several months later at church camp, I had an experience with God one night during worship. I felt the power of the Holy Spirit for the first time, and in tears, I excepted Jesus into my heart. I wish I could say that this was the end of my salvation story. It is not.
As several years passed, I was influenced by other kids who weren't on fire for the Lord and also by the secular humanism that is so prevalent in today's public school system. Eventually, doubts and questions began to arise in my spirit, and my behavior was NOTHING like Christ. I resented my parents for making me go to church every Sunday and thought that people were just under mass hyteria and under the power of suggestion. Later on while in college, I even fought my parents regarding my behavior (or should I say, my sin)- saying that I was in 18, 19, 20 and and should be able to make my own decisions. I didn't understand why they were so vehemently against my spending the night with a boyfriend, for example. I wasn't hurting anyone! I loved him. I wasn't a whore on the street. What was their problem??? I had discussions with my mother about God. I couldn't understand how an all loving God could throw someone in hell for ETERNITY that didn't believe in Jesus- but had lived an otherwise good life (thus I had no knowledge/wisdom of the law and God's justice... even though I cognitively understood the Ten Commandments). I thought it was America's egocentricism that made us believe that Christianity was "the true" religion. To be short, I TOTALLY BOUGHT INTO THE SECULAR HUMANISTIC IDEAS THAT OUR PUBLIC EDUCATION IS FEEDING OUR CHILDREN!!! Please pray about this!!! Anyway, I cringe to think about how this must have upset my mother. I am so very blessed that she had patience with me and even said during those conversations that as I got older, God would become clear to me. Her rock solid faith is awesome, but at the time I was annoyed at her "narrowmindedness". She did her part- for the Bible says to rear your children in the ways of the Lord and even as they grow old they will not depart from it! Glory to God!
Well, to get back to my story, I married a man (well, he really was still a boy) at 20. My husband was 23. I got pregnant soon afterwards- much to everone's dismay. I was still in school preparing to become a teacher. During my student teaching experience, God caught me.
My supervising teacher was a spirit filled Catholic! To all those people out there who think that all Catholic's aren't saved... poppycock! He led me to Christ by his infectious faith! This man was in his Word and knew scripture. He also presented Christianity in a way that I had NEVER known before. While my mom believed, I didn't understand that Jesus was a personal God that cared about my every thought and feeling. This man didn't preach to me or condecend, but just loved me and made me part of his life. When he would erupt into one of his funny stories, he would just season his stories with the salt of truth (1 Col. 4:6 says: Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.) I would be laughing with tears in my eyes and griping my aching belly. All the while Jesus was calling me because of his obediance to our command to be a light in a dark world. He was also TRANSPARENT!!! He showed me that it was okay to have made mistakes. He had made some, and knew that God had forgiven him. He could look upon his mistakes with that very same humor that made him so lovable. Because I loved him so much and loved the way he lived life and cared for others, I wanted to be like him. I wanted what he had! He was truly a "light" and a "peculiar person (as we are told to be in the Word). He truly SHARED LIFE with me (1 Thess. 2:8 reads: We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.) I am forever indebtted to this man. He gave me eternity!
Slowly over the three months that I student taught, I began to read the Bible and believe. I didn't have salvation over night... it was a process. But eventually, I prayed the sinners prayer, and excepted Jesus. Now, I may blow someone's doctorine out of the water by the next few details of my story- but I simply must tell it all because it was MY experience. I came to realize that receiving the Holy Spirit and being saved were two different things. I am not 100% positive about this... but the apostles surely believed- all that is required for salvation- when they were in the upper room in the books of Acts. So, one day in the shower, I prayed to God to receive the Holy Spirit (this is weeks after saying the sinner's prayer). I stood there with soap in my hair half expecting something to happen. When nothing did, I just accepted that I had the Helper but there would be no firework show! Boy was I wrong. A couple of weeks later in the middle of the night while sleeping, I had encouter with the Holy Ghost. It felt and seemed like I was awake. I was on my tummy, snoozing, when I literally felt two hands lay on my back and an electricitiy went through my body. I turned over slowly (slightly afraid) to see who had touched me. I looked up, and I saw this figure above my bed that was like it was on FIRE. Before I could really get a good look- it was literally a milisecond, I woke up on my stomach with the electricity still running through my body. It took me a few days to be able to tell anyone... BUT I SURE KNEW I HAD THE HOLY SPIRIT THEN!!!!
God has done WONDERFUL things in my life since then (that truly knock my socks off to think about). I started praying for my brother soon after being saved and he excepted Christ later that same year. He is the creator of a website and in seminary- a short 1 year after he himself was saved. My husband is now saved and baptised. I could go on and on taking about the faithfulness of the Lord. I serve a BIG God who has room for all of us in His Kingdom.
If you have doubts that God is real, ask Him in a prayer of faith to show Himself to you. He loves you SO MUCH that I promise you that He will!!!
If you have not said the sinner's prayer, pray to receive Jesus and the Holy Spirit RIGHT NOW. It will be the best decision you ever make and completely revolutionize your life making you whole, complete, and giving you a purpose in this life and a hope in the next. Just pray, "Jesus, come into my heart and forgive me of my sins. I believe that you died for me and were raised from the dead. I ask for the Holy Spirit to reside in me. Thank you Lord that it is done and that I am a child of God. Amen." Glory!
