yeah right now i'm speechless.



my sister is 16 years old.



and she's supposedly "mature" for her age.



she's been growing up and become VERY SOCIAL.



she hangs out with the wrong crowd.



alot of BOYS come over and people come over LATE AT NIGHT to our house and I'm tired of it.



my sister has learned how to CUSS and i HEAR IT ALL THE TIME. i don't know what to say.



there's ALOT of DRAMA between her, my mother, my dad, and her friends.



BUT WHAT HURTS THE MOST...i just overheard a little phone conversation she was having with one of her little friends and i heard my sister say "my dad still thinks i'm a virgin..."


that hurts...my jaw just dropped.



i want to cry right now, i don't know what to say, think, how to confront.



i wanna kill her and her friends and just wreck their lives for this crap.



and the thing is, she's like all these other people...she thinks she's SAVED...she GOES TO CHURCH...and likes to raise her hand during the worship songs and thinks that means something.



the same with my parents too, going to church all these years but never changing. but thinking it's doing something.



but i can't do anything because i am so lost myself. i have my own sins but i've never engaged in anything premarital.



i didn't think my sister had gone that far.



oh and there something about her smoking pot too.



typical little girl...thinks she can rule the world.



i can't even think, it's like this numb feeling.



pray.

continue to pray. i don't know what's gonna happen or how this will be resolved.

Well, for riht now fix your self. So that there will be someone she can go to once things get out of her hands! this is life, but being strong and stable is what is needed. If your parents aren't really there and are like what you say, than move on and because the man you are called to be. If you are strong enough to handle a girl friend that uses ways to get you to stay and than you are strong enought to make a move that is right for yourself. You are showing a good thing to her, even if she doesnt seem to act like it right now. Keep this going! Do more, and one day, you might be able to stop her from doing something really stupid. You are the key here. When you pray, get out of yourself wanting to cause her harm first, than cry out for her, you have a brothers right to do so, even if your parents seem to not see what is going on. Don't start fights, but just let her know you are seeing and knowing everything she is doing. I haad in the past made things hard on some of the girls that I know because I know what they were doing was wrong, showing strangth when they had none! One even keeped her baby after being raped because of how I was with her, and she asked that I would be told that she was doing this. If you let Him, G-d will show you just how mightly he can use you.

You pray for your sister and I will pray for you!

i need prayer...god ignores me constantly.


i don't even know why i ask for prayer, because i know what's gonna happen, nothing.


i want my sister to move out, i don't care. she wants to as well, she's just so immature like me.


but me, i've been praying for god to provide me a way to move out and get out of here for too long now.


i'm so sick of living with these people.


in order to move out, i need MONEY, in order to get MONEY, i need a JOB, in order to get a JOB, i need GOD's DIRECTION or SOME ANSWER and SOME HEALING because I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WANT TO DO, I'm NOT CONFIDENT and I NEED A DOSE OF CONFIDENCE, DESIRE, MOTIVATION, DIRECTION.


god is so weird...is he only going to answer my prayers when america gets judged?


that doesn't make any sense...i'm PRAYING NOW...asking NOW...not for LATER.

I'm praying for you and your sister...It seems so unfair when you want something to happen but it doesn't come quickly. Sometimes it feels like too much to handle...try not to let depression set it's ugly claws into you. Get off the computer right now and go outside and walk for 4 minutes..start out slow and build up everyday. You'd be suprised at how better you will feel. Make a habit of it. Take a journal with you on some days and write your heart out....dump all of your feelings on paper then rip it up. Whatever you do, stop doing the same thing because it's just not working for you. Pray for the Lord to change your heart...your outlook on life...do it as an experiment instead of just dismissing it immediately. Try it on for size for a while and see if you notice anything after a week of walking, writing and praying. Little steps is all you need to do right now..take it one day at a time because anything larger will seem overwhelming. I've been there. The Lord is in all things...He works through everything for good...even in our deepest pain, He's there. Don't try and make sense of things because on a spiritual level mans wisdom just doesn't belong. Go out and walk...write and pray for a changed heart not for how you want things...just try it ok?
Blessings to you and your family...
Love, Lisa

Sand, it seems to me that there is a lot of hate in you as well as your family. Brother, you need to look at why you feel the way you do with against your sister, and family, if there is acts done against you, you need to forgive them and let it go. This well set you free. And as far as G-d not answering your prayers, he has, but he does it him way out of love for what is better for you, because what is better for you might not be want you want. If there is neglict done against you or your sister, it would be best for you both to get out, but if your longing to get out comes from not wanting to fallow the rules, that is out of rebalon, sin! Hating a family member like you do and talking against G-d the way you do, shows that you don't like not having things your way, being a rabble againts G-d will not help you.....
look at the book of Job, his wifes thoughts were a lot like yours......saying to Job her husband, to cuse G-d and die....and this all after G-d set a test for Job....she lost everything to, and was acting out of hate againt G-d, using her mouth. But look at what Job said to her....you talk like a women that doesn't know G-d. He said that they sould be able to take the good with the bad for his hand, that he had more of a relastionship with G-d not out of what he can get out of him from his hand, he stayed out of love.

I ask you to look at yourself and see...Do you have any loe at all in yourself for your famly?

I went through a lot from family, at times family can be the ones to cause the most pain against you. I went through fisical and mental abuse, abandament as well, and dumped into faster care. I tell you the truth, I loved my family even though they did this to me. I didn't curse G-d or say I hate my family like you are. So, what is driving you to do this? Now, if it is some kind of nasty thing, you don't have to tell me, just tell yourself, be truthful to yourself. You are full of hate and this is massing you up. I tell you that this kind of thing tells on you, taking it with you were ever you go. If you act this way when trying to make friends, or anything like that that you have been saying that you would like to have, like getting a job...people can see that you are filled iwth this and not dealing with it. Most people dont want others that are so out of control of there own thoughts and feels to be around them or working for them. We tell you to deal with the way you talk about G-d and deal with that unforgiveness and hate you have, I am not giving you just some ideas that you can think about and than not do, if you don't it can kill you. You longing to have harm of anything against your sister when you say that she is so much worse than you, is wrong, the fact that you feel this way, is wrong, and not healthy, but it came from some where, seeing your sister is much younger than you, a great deal isn't done by her hand, but you hate her as if it is. You need to know why, and stop blaming her.

please, brother, get with a paster and talk this thing out. You need to start watching the words you are using. Remember too, that what mesure of judgement you use on others with be used agaisnt you, this is why I am saying that you need to stop doing this against others. You need to also pick out and cract those things in your life, and not focus on picking out others. We are all struggling, fall, but if we spend our time picking out others falts and not fitting our own, we do no one any good.

i don't mean hate hate, just a very very VERY strong dislike.

but no, whenever i'm out of the house, and whenever i'm at a job or looking for one, i don't show it, because there...i don't feel it.

i HAVE to get out of this house. i can't live with my parents forever.

but i don't know if it's ever gonna happen. seeing as i'm not making any money. and even if i was, it wouldn't be NEAR enough to get out of here.

still waiting for god to tell me what to do with my life...won't get the answer though. what's wrong with this picture>

There is nothing wrong this the picture, just that you aren't seeing that you are being told what to do, by Roxygal, by others here as well as myself, we all are giving you tools that will help. It is time that you see that. When I was going through my time of struggle not to long ago, I have others here say this or that, I wrote them down, make a list of what i need to do to change, taking action for myself. That is what is going on here, so you have your answer!!!!!!!

Here.....list

1-watch your words!

2-forgive, and let go.

3-just get anything kind of a job, FOR NOW! even if you dont like it! You can change what jobs you want to try, but not befor you get another to replace it. That means don't quit unless you have one to go to the next time. That means you aren't acting out of hate but just moving on.

4-Just avoid negitive people, not be mean to them.

5-get with a strong G-dly man, paster, councelor. I would say that your greatist need is growing up(not being mean to you) and when you have a great need it is usually G-ds thing to us you in that area.
You might want to look into some self help christian books or groups.

6-stop blaiming others, when things aren't going the way you want.

I can go on, but see this is what I mean by a list. I did this myself, and did one thing at a time on it. I will tell you that I wasn't perfact at it, but as I keep going through it, i did get better, and I keep adding more to that list. It isn't hard, just doing it is the point. See you have your answer.

Take a big breath, and start doing things for others, this will start to make you feel better about yourself. I have found doing work for others, like mowing lands, or painting walls for others, that made me feel like i was needed and wanted.

Make a list again of what you would like to feel about yourself....like this

1-strong

2-organized

3-motivated

and so on.... than you set out to get those things that well help you get there. Becoming a strong G-dly man that isn't so easyly moved by others sins, but moved out of love for them as Jesus would be, well, that is were G-d wants you to get to. It doesn't take a big lighted sign to see that, does it!

Aloud your self to be moved by others good and positive words, and things they are telling you to do, it can't hart to try them for some time, and find the things that make you grow. It is said that your own parents haven't been able to do this for you, but be smart about it, if they don't than do it yourself. Go you and get what you need to grow, get around other G-dly men that are stronger, It cant hart to tell your paster or a paster that you need help with these things, and he might help you get other men around you, and you might just get spiritually adopted. I have found many times over the years, being that I don't have family, that if I let Him G-d gets those around me that will help me get to were I need to be. See, another answer! G-d isn't going to take you by force and make you do these things, and they are simple enought that he isn't going to swop in and fix everything over night. Just now that Our G-d is a Father to the fatherless. That means too to those that parents don't to their jobs. He is moving for you, and you need to stop saying he isnt' for that isn't true!!!!!!!

Sand...

Your name. It makes me think of the desert. Water cannot be held in sandy soil. Dunes are ever changing (and move with the wind).

Sand is useful. It stops floods from overtaking levies. It can be used to make beautiful glass artwork. It is a principal component in concrete... you can build on it.
__________________________________________________

Your sister is going through a tough time in her life- and I can tell you from personal experience that the teenage years as a girl are rough. When you are in high school- it is a bizarre world. No time in your life is like it. You crave acceptance, but are usually surrounded by judgemental kids. (Judgemental people are usually insecure themselves by the way. If you are critical of others, usually there is inward conversation where you are equally, if not more, critical of yourself.) In high school, there are pressures to conform- and unless your foundation is SOLID... it is very difficult to withstand those pressures.

Jesus is our living water. I can tell that your cup is empty dear brother. God is with you. However, He is NOT MOVED by selfish prayers and toddler like temper tantrums (and honey, I'm preaching to myself here). Our concern as Christians should always be to glorify God. What is YOUR will, Father? What would YOU like me to pray? What is YOUR destiny for me?

Instead of seeing the flaws in your family- please try to see them the way Jesus does. Have compassion on them. What is driving your sister to want to be with a guy outside of marriage? She probably wants to be loved (just like every other girl). Do you tell your sister that she is beautiful? Of course there are things that bother you about her... but look past the flaws. What is GOOD about her? Is she considerate? Is she kind? Is she a good friend? What about your parents? If they are lukewarm Christians as you say, then pray hard that they will awaken from their slumber. The bible says that Jesus will "spew" lukewarm believers out of His mouth. DO YOU WANT THIS FOR YOUR PARENTS? Of course not (If you have the love of God inside of you, you shouldn't want this for ANYONE!). Weep and wail for them. Pray that the Lord will give you a HEART for your family- that you will love them with a supernatural spiritual love.

Read John chapter 15. Apart from the Lord, you cannot do a thing. NOT A THING. You must abide in Him. When you do, the fruits of the Spirit emerge. Patience (to wait to on that job), self control (instead of lashing out in anger), kindness, gentleness, love (instead of resentment), and joy (instead of discontent).

God bless you, Sand. God has a destiny and plan for you- and I see that it is related to your user name. Your biggest weaknesses will be used as your greatest strengths. Trust in Jesus. I love you.

Can i ask you a question?.

Do you pray?. Even if you pray do you pray in Jesus Name?.

Has for your sister there is nothing you can do anything. Just pray for her. What ever you say it just provokes her and makes here more angry. Dont do that instead you can only pray and help her needs.



What make you to say that?. America is not only country that exist in planet earth they are many other countries and countless of people who is waiting for the Lord.

He does hear everyone prayer. For Him there is can be answered, can not be answered and be patient. So be patient he shall help you.

Also do you help yourself?. Meaning do you work hard to get or earn something such has job,money or so on?.

Why iam asking you this because from all i can see you are just waiting for God to help you.

whiteknight...if you would go back and read what i put down, YES i pray and YES i go out and look for a job everyday...for many months now.



were you just trying to put me down?



it's amazing, no matter how many times i ask people to READ they don't read.

Wow, Jhamner, that was right on! Sand, when put under far and a mighty wind plowen in a delibrate manor can form Glass. Just think how greatlly G-d's plains are for you, and what he can do in using you if you let him put you under is will, setting you on fire for him, and plowing his mighty anointing into you through his Holy Spirit.

Do you pray in Jesus is what i asked you.

Few thing i like to point out why you should ask Lord for forgiveness.

1. i wanna kill her and her friends and just wreck their lives for this crap.
2. i don't even know why i ask for prayer, because i know what's gonna happen, nothing.
3. god ignores me constantly.
4. i'm so sick of living with these people.

Let me explain.

1. Remember Lord knows your thought very well even if you dont speak. Your dirty thoughts can put down all your prayer. What ever you pray will have no value until you ask Lord for forgiveness and repent. You should not repeat that any again. Even if you do it again keep asking for forgiveness.

2. This sort of speech shows pride. Which will put your prayer down again.

3. He does not ignore you or anyone. He want you to stop with that sort of thoughts.

4. Live with it.

Lastly do not judge other people.



Hmm. I really did not understand this. Did any of my speech let you down?. I was showing you the point.



Just praying wont help you. Just going to Church wont help you, Just reading bible wont help you. What helps you is that you should concentrate and leave all earthly ,worries and other things behind and focus of Speaking and hearing him. What ever sins you have done. You have to ask Lord for forgiveness. Pray everyday in Jesus Name. Read bible ask the Holy Sprit to help you to understand bible. Pray for yourself pray for your family.

And lastly for your job try to find out what your skills are where you talent is. To tell you sand you do have talents in you. Just find out what it is. Many companies want skills nowdays. Gone are the days where people only got job when they got good marks in schools and college atleast here in india it was. Dont know how it is in USA. Visit some job sites like http://www.monster.com/ and see this :- http://www.google.com/search?num=100&h...amp;btnG=Search.

You can also visit this site :- http://gotquestions.org/. It can help you with some of your questions.

Also read peacemaker and jhammer response again and again and understand that. You will gain out of those.

Lisa's advise is sound wisdom. A new perspective will help. I'll pray for you and your sister, God can draw her back and purify her.

well god can't really draw her back because she's not saved to begin with.

Scripture is FILLED with people who were drawn to the Lord that weren't saved to begin with. Like Paul. You want help getting direction for a job? Pray and look in the classifieds. Then ACT. You want prayers answered? HUMBLE yourself. Pull the beam from your own eye before harping on the one in your sister's. Good grief, Sand, the Lord has stated constantly that He would be WITH us through our times of troubles, not just bail us out of them. That means the bad times will come. Job had a whole lot more happen to him, yet he never cursed God, nor was he snide about it.

Please don't think I'm "putting you down", I just want you to realize that life can throw us some icky things that we must DEAL with. The Lord makes it so much easier for us to deal with those things when we have faith in Him, humble ourselves, and show others the love that He showed us.

Count your blessings, youngen', and being young is a BIG one. You have many years ahead of you and how you approach those years will have everything to do with how you live them out.

Let's look at these, shall we?
1. i wanna kill her and her friends and just wreck their lives for this crap.
Would Christ feel this way? Or would He love her through it?

2. i don't even know why i ask for prayer, because i know what's gonna happen, nothing.
Contempt of the Lord, pride, and and assumptions are not conducive to fruitful prayers. Prayers should be given with all supplication and humility. They are not to be approached as a collect call to get a blessing Western Unioned to you.

3. god ignores me constantly.
You give Him a little 'g'.

4. i'm so sick of living with these people.
Thank the Lord for the HUGE blessing of having a roof over your head, food in your belly, and clothes on your back. Many people around the world, with more faith than you, have far less.

Last, check out 'Voice of the Martyrs' before you think you have it so bad in the future. Many of those being tortured for His name would love to have it as good as you do. And they don't even say the mean things about those who torment them that you say about your own family.

May you see the light.

In Christ, Angela

hello.


well what does that mean "he's with us in trouble" that doesn't make sense.


that doesn't help anything.


and i'm sick of the cliches. like the thing with the food, it's not like that stuff brings happiness.


i don't boast that i have those things.

When talking about G-d being there with you through the troubles, brother, she is right, I know for a fact that G-d is there. King David said that G-d would be there for him, even If he makes his bed in hell, G-d would be there.

I think this seems to others tht you are saying things about G-d like you do, because like a spoiled child, you just can't get your way. He doesnt get you out of masses, he doesn't make things easy, or do them for you, so you get made about it and act like you do, in away that is like a child in a story throughing a fit!

4. i'm so sick of living with these people.
Thank the Lord for the HUGE blessing of having a roof over your head, food in your belly, and clothes on your back. Many people around the world, with more faith than you, have far less.


Ok....This must be what you are talking about, brother....
I can see why she posted this. Brother I have no family, not one that cares for me, has taken care of me, not makes it possible for me to have a roof over my head.....so what proublem do you have with her saying that you need to be grateful for what you have...for that is what she was meaning here. I could get right down to it, and list how wrong you are for being abusive to G-d and others. For that is what you have done. But I also know that you have been prevoked and not had a very good exsample set for you. We are to give honor to our parents, as well as they are not to prevoke their children to raith. I get that about your parents, but G-d will never let you get away with being abusive to others, no matter how mean they have been to you, or out of lie they seem to be. My child would but a creaction to me, but than I say, did you take my right to be a parent away buy doing and saying what you did, and my child would change, this is an 8 year old, and she gets that. Why don't you!

You need to start acting out of love and kindness, with your words and actions. Learn and change your ways. my child might not like what I have said or done, or given her, but she doesnt have to right to be mean because of it. and even if she hates me that doesnt change the fact that I am her mother, this will never change, never! As well as, you might not like what G-d hasn't done, hasn't said, or given, but that doesnt change the FACT that he is G-d!!! That big fact will never change!

a real man doesn't have to worry about this.



it hurts to have nothing interesting about yourself.



i'm really embarassed right now.



i went to church to see someone i knew and her friends.



but as i knew would happen, i was left out of the conversation again...and then i just walked out and left.



i will no longer play around.



but it hurts, i did not say goodbye because i was angry and sad.



i walked out in front of the girls and the guys. i hate them all.



^^^ that cannot be changed by self will. god has closed a door on that.

First, let me say, I am the queen of being left out of conversations. I realize now though that people don't necessarily mean to, it just happens. I am not good in groups of 3 or more people. I am better and more comfortable talking one on one with a person.
I still make it a point to try to join in the conversation, mostly I am content to just listen. I don't know if that is how you are.

Another thing, did you go in angry and bitter? You might have a smile on your face, but the anger and resentment that you display here, it would seem it would be hard to hide.

-but as i knew would happen, i was left out of the conversation again...and then i just walked out and left.

chances are if you go in like that, you're going to come out disappointed. You are cursing yourself.
Go in optimistic, put a genuine smile on your face and put yourself out there. It's not going to happen overnight.

Now, to be blunt: Unless you learn to let go and forgive your sister and father and whoever else, you will not be able to move on. And also repent for your resentment and bitterness that you have let into your life because of it. Jesus was big on forgiveness. It doesn't matter if it doesn't seem deserveable. Jesus forgave the worst of the worst. And we are to try to be more like Jesus.
All that hate inside of you will eat you up if you let it and it will kill you.

As for your sister, the best thing you can possibly do for her is pray for her. Love her, let her know you know what's going on in a loving way, not condescending.

There isn't really anything else that other people haven't already said. Their advice was sound, and all done out of love. You can chose to take their advice or not. (Personally I'd opt for taking the advice, you'd come out a much happier person in the end.)

If you don't mind I'll share a passage with you. It's one I have been working on memorizing.
James 1:19-25


19My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. 21Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

22Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror 24and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.