Some of you know I have 'sleep issues'. I don't sleep very well. I have cycles of bad sleeping patterns and cycles of good. The bad outweigh the good generally. And when I'm pregnant - sleep just doesn't come into the equation.....I wake every 2 hours or just can't sleep.
Right now - for the past 2 or 3 nights I've had bad bad sleeping issues....up pottering around the house at ridiculous hours.. or unable to get back to sleep once the 6mth old - nearly 7mth old wakens. Now - I'm actually blaming it on the diet coke I've been having - one only - after 3pm. I tried the Mother drink a week or so back - gave me great energy - but I could still sleep at night.
Friday I went to the doctor to get some Panadine forte for a headache that plain panadine wasn't working completely for. The script meds knock it on the head and don't let it get too bad after 2 days of dosing.
So today - I tried to nap. And I will admit to some stupidity in that I had double the dose in half the allowed time - plus antihistamine in an effort to relax enough to sleep and give the shoulder and neck muscles a chance to de-stress and stop causing the pain.
I am also aware that codine can cause nightmares...in some people. Doesn't tend to in me - they're just weird weird dreams.....nothing 'Goddy' about them. Just odd ones - like when I did manage to drift off to sleep for about half an hour - I dreamed my 3 year old son was his father, had a bright blue bicycle helmet on his head and was running up the driveway starkers......my son is into taking all his clothes off at the moment! So that's an odd dream.
Anyway - I believe this 'vision' happened before the second dose of meds. I was laying there reciting the lords prayer and begging God to let me sleep...please - I need to sleep. My eyes were shut and I was just kind of relaxing into sleep - and as I was asking to sleep some images crossed the inside of my eyelids.
Imagine the photo's that are taken of babies inside a womb....it's all pinky olrange and hazy. The images were kind of like that - but had more 'sepia' overtones ( I've been scrapbooking using sepia lately) - so maybe - pinky orange sepia.
I had heard a voice say my name again - and I said in my mind - yes Lord what do you want? Got nothing. Then I started the praying and what I saw seemed to be like cells dividing - can't tell if it was real time or not - but it was like time lapse photography...one cell, two cells, 4 cells - etc etc. THen it kind of jumped - like a skip in a record - and there was a hazy pinky blob......like in close up so you couldn't see what it was - then another skip - and the image of a baby. I recall thinking is it me? But the thought came - although it looks like a girl, it couldn't be me because it was a boy - and you couldn't see the 'boy bits' in the image.
I don't believe it was a 'drug induced' hallucination - it was all very slow and soft.....and the last time I recall seeing something to do with children this clearly was when my now husband and I broke up about 6 months after we left - I"d gone home from work with a migraine - had some mersyndol (Not as strong as panadine forte) and was trying to go to sleep in bed....and I saw the image of two little boys - sitting on a wooden bus bench in a rustic area and they almost looked like twins...then another face of a boy child with blue eyes, brown hair and a perfect combination of myself and my now hubby. My eldest 2 don't look like twins - but they are only a year and 4 days apart. My youngest looks more like the eldest son - and my middle child has blonde hair. So - although the children don't look like the ones in the vision then - I do have 3 sons.
I Feel kind of weird about it - and am not sure if I should mention it to hubby or not as his depression seems to be getting worse atm with hassles at the soccer club and undergoing psych counselling once a week - it's kind of digging into his emotional reserves so he's quite fragile.....wouldn't want to frighten him!
Any ideas????